1
00:00:50,184 --> 00:00:53,641
Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey.
2
00:00:56,904 --> 00:00:59,336
Un poquito albino...
3
00:01:03,017 --> 00:01:06,857
...my little angel pussy.
4
00:01:07,496 --> 00:01:09,416
Nobody? Anybody?
5
00:01:27,049 --> 00:01:29,478
♪ Lying in each other's arms ♪
6
00:01:29,480 --> 00:01:30,791
Moondoggy!
7
00:01:32,777 --> 00:01:35,624
Best part of the city
of Key West, Florida.
8
00:02:01,865 --> 00:02:05,992
The most prolific
poet of Key West, Florida.
9
00:02:06,632 --> 00:02:11,881
I'm gonna throw some fresh lines at you from
a little poem I am working on right now.
10
00:02:13,193 --> 00:02:14,664
Last night...
11
00:02:15,880 --> 00:02:17,862
when I went to bed in Havana,
12
00:02:17,864 --> 00:02:20,296
I was thinking about you,
13
00:02:21,384 --> 00:02:22,729
I was thinking about you.
14
00:02:24,584 --> 00:02:29,222
And I got up about 4:00 a.m.,
and I had to take a piss, as guys do,
15
00:02:29,224 --> 00:02:31,048
and I looked down at my dick.
16
00:02:32,617 --> 00:02:36,296
And I had such affection
in my heart when I did...
17
00:02:37,993 --> 00:02:42,054
knowing that it had been
inside you twice today...
18
00:02:46,376 --> 00:02:50,281
...made me feel... beautiful.
19
00:02:52,649 --> 00:02:56,006
That's what I got. Have a great night.
Chase the moon.
20
00:03:08,072 --> 00:03:10,793
♪ Mother, mother, ocean ♪
21
00:03:11,977 --> 00:03:14,377
♪ I have heard you call ♪
22
00:03:15,593 --> 00:03:19,463
♪ Wanted to sail
Upon your water ♪
23
00:03:19,465 --> 00:03:22,470
♪ Since I was three feet tall ♪
24
00:03:25,033 --> 00:03:28,103
Fish on!
25
00:03:30,889 --> 00:03:32,422
Moondog
is going to go get dinner.
26
00:03:32,424 --> 00:03:35,015
♪ Yes, I am a pirate ♪
27
00:03:35,017 --> 00:03:37,350
- Moby Dick, ladies!
- Whoa, Moondog!
28
00:03:37,352 --> 00:03:38,537
I'm going to need a bigger boat!
29
00:03:40,424 --> 00:03:43,175
Yes!
30
00:03:45,832 --> 00:03:47,912
See that? They don't even
make these anymore.
31
00:03:55,081 --> 00:03:58,950
♪ I've done a bit of smuggling ♪
32
00:03:58,952 --> 00:04:01,319
♪ And I've run my share
Of grass ♪
33
00:04:01,321 --> 00:04:03,976
I'm looking for something
a little more earthbound.
34
00:04:05,064 --> 00:04:07,206
Big-breasted, no scars.
35
00:04:07,208 --> 00:04:10,854
Just like you. Just like you.
Just like you.
36
00:04:10,856 --> 00:04:13,672
She won't have me
unless I put a ring on it.
37
00:04:22,344 --> 00:04:25,638
♪ I passed out and I rallied
And I sprung a few leaks ♪
38
00:04:25,640 --> 00:04:29,703
♪ But I got to stop wishing
Got to go fishing ♪
39
00:04:29,705 --> 00:04:33,512
♪ Down to rock bottom again ♪
40
00:04:34,153 --> 00:04:36,870
Before I accept whatever award
they're giving me today,
41
00:04:36,872 --> 00:04:38,951
I'll start with a little bit
of poetic foreplay.
42
00:04:38,953 --> 00:04:41,416
I wrote this
in the wilds of Kentucky.
43
00:04:41,833 --> 00:04:44,135
I didn't have peach fuzz
over my pecker at the time.
44
00:04:44,137 --> 00:04:48,486
I was surrounded by inbreds,
rednecks, juveniles, limp dicks.
45
00:04:48,488 --> 00:04:51,431
All that time, I was 14,
it's a little poem I wrote,
46
00:04:51,433 --> 00:04:57,224
that I was always like to read first because
it takes me back to such a pure place.
47
00:04:58,057 --> 00:05:01,033
Okay...
48
00:05:02,216 --> 00:05:05,094
One day,
I will swallow up the world...
49
00:05:08,552 --> 00:05:11,687
And when I do,
I hope you all perish violently.
50
00:05:14,281 --> 00:05:17,094
Thank you. How about another
from Mr. Jimmy Buffett?
51
00:05:25,736 --> 00:05:27,622
Hey, hey!
52
00:05:27,624 --> 00:05:34,055
♪ I go for younger women
Lived with several a while ♪
53
00:05:34,057 --> 00:05:38,567
♪ Though I ran them away
They'd come back one day ♪
54
00:05:41,672 --> 00:05:44,233
Hey, hey, what's shaking,
little ginger goat?
55
00:05:44,456 --> 00:05:46,022
I miss you.
56
00:05:46,024 --> 00:05:47,463
I miss you too, sweetie.
57
00:05:47,465 --> 00:05:49,638
It's boring here without you.
58
00:05:49,640 --> 00:05:51,335
I know, right?
I can only imagine.
59
00:05:51,337 --> 00:05:54,889
I need you back here in Miami.
I need my husband.
60
00:05:55,400 --> 00:05:57,606
Ugh... Civilization...
61
00:05:57,608 --> 00:05:59,336
Come on.
I need help with the wedding.
62
00:06:00,361 --> 00:06:01,703
Well, I mean, do you really?
63
00:06:01,705 --> 00:06:03,815
Heather and I need you
to come back home.
64
00:06:03,817 --> 00:06:07,590
Ah, you know my home is down here
in the Keys with all the burn-outs.
65
00:06:07,592 --> 00:06:10,919
I'm a bottom feeder. I got to go
low to get high. You know that.
66
00:06:10,921 --> 00:06:14,343
No. It's here and we have so many
friends and guess who's coming?
67
00:06:14,345 --> 00:06:16,902
They're your friends.
I don't have any friends.
68
00:06:16,904 --> 00:06:19,974
Yes, you do. Well, at least
they pretend to be your friends.
69
00:06:19,976 --> 00:06:22,758
You know what?
Ray just popped over.
70
00:06:22,760 --> 00:06:26,150
- Moondog, what it do?
- Is that the Lounger, one and only?
71
00:06:26,152 --> 00:06:29,543
You already know it, man. I just stopped by
to drop off some roses to your lovely wife.
72
00:06:29,545 --> 00:06:31,590
To keep it pushing,
you understand, boss?
73
00:06:31,592 --> 00:06:35,015
I wish you could see Heather.
My goodness, she is just glowing...
74
00:06:35,017 --> 00:06:37,033
- Glowing?
- ...about the wedding, baby.
75
00:06:38,153 --> 00:06:39,303
Why is she glowing?
76
00:06:39,305 --> 00:06:41,159
Because she's so in love.
77
00:06:41,161 --> 00:06:43,849
Ah! Shit,
you scared me for a minute.
78
00:06:44,617 --> 00:06:46,439
But what does she
know about love, anyway?
79
00:06:46,441 --> 00:06:48,359
She's 16 years old.
She doesn't know what love is.
80
00:06:48,361 --> 00:06:51,462
- She's too young to get married.
- She's 22, Moondog.
81
00:06:51,464 --> 00:06:53,543
Ah, 22, whatever.
82
00:06:53,545 --> 00:06:56,327
I mean, besides,
she's marrying such a limp dick.
83
00:06:56,329 --> 00:06:59,303
You're probably right.
Bye, boo-boo, I love you.
84
00:06:59,305 --> 00:07:01,031
Lounger.
85
00:07:01,033 --> 00:07:03,656
Moondog, until we
meet again, bad moon rising.
86
00:07:24,361 --> 00:07:27,207
♪ You know I need your love ♪
87
00:07:27,209 --> 00:07:29,993
♪ You've got that hold over me ♪
88
00:07:31,592 --> 00:07:34,470
♪ Long as I've got your love ♪
89
00:07:34,472 --> 00:07:37,096
♪ You know
That I'll never leave ♪
90
00:07:38,216 --> 00:07:41,190
♪ When I wanted you
To share my life ♪
91
00:07:41,192 --> 00:07:44,295
♪ I had no doubt in my mind ♪
92
00:07:44,297 --> 00:07:48,678
♪ It's been you woman ♪
93
00:07:48,680 --> 00:07:50,888
♪ Right down the line ♪
94
00:08:41,033 --> 00:08:42,728
I think it's time to go home.
95
00:09:15,593 --> 00:09:17,320
I missed you, my love.
96
00:09:18,024 --> 00:09:21,158
Ah, yeah, one more shot, baby!
97
00:09:27,113 --> 00:09:28,201
Did you miss me?
98
00:09:28,712 --> 00:09:31,432
- I got it. I got it. I got it.
- Oh, honey.
99
00:09:32,072 --> 00:09:34,278
Oh...
100
00:09:34,280 --> 00:09:35,464
Oh!
101
00:09:36,584 --> 00:09:39,815
- Look at you.
- No, you've been gone too long.
102
00:09:39,817 --> 00:09:42,119
- Look at you.
- You have to woo me.
103
00:09:42,121 --> 00:09:44,104
Woo-woo-doo, did you miss me?
104
00:10:08,425 --> 00:10:09,416
Oh, my God.
105
00:10:11,048 --> 00:10:13,064
I forgot how rich we were.
106
00:10:13,768 --> 00:10:15,817
Yeah. You did forget, Moondog.
107
00:10:19,496 --> 00:10:20,840
I missed all ten of you.
108
00:10:27,464 --> 00:10:29,417
Mmm.
109
00:10:31,016 --> 00:10:33,126
Oh, that's so good. Oh, God.
110
00:10:33,128 --> 00:10:35,271
You're never going
to write that new book, honey.
111
00:10:35,273 --> 00:10:37,862
- I'm having lunch with my agent today.
- Oh, God!
112
00:10:37,864 --> 00:10:40,582
We will be going over the new book.
It is not written yet.
113
00:10:40,584 --> 00:10:42,119
Of course not.
114
00:10:42,121 --> 00:10:44,103
I think this is going
to be a big one, baby.
115
00:10:46,312 --> 00:10:48,390
Well, make sure
it doesn't take too long.
116
00:10:48,392 --> 00:10:50,727
I want everything to go perfectly
for Heather's wedding today.
117
00:10:50,729 --> 00:10:54,215
I'm so fucking on time.
I'm the last guy you gotta worry about.
118
00:10:54,217 --> 00:10:57,287
No, sweetie, seriously,
you cannot be late.
119
00:10:57,289 --> 00:11:00,263
Okay?
Because you just can't.
120
00:11:00,265 --> 00:11:02,279
- Okay.
- I'm not going to be late, sweetie.
121
00:11:02,281 --> 00:11:05,704
I forgot to tell you that I
invited your mother to the wedding.
122
00:11:07,016 --> 00:11:09,671
Oh, Heather is not wearing
the white dress.
123
00:11:09,673 --> 00:11:12,839
She's going with the
oyster one with the pearls.
124
00:11:12,841 --> 00:11:16,551
Oh, you can go, Akiko.
125
00:11:16,553 --> 00:11:19,142
- Thank you, ma'am.
- That's right. Right there, honey.
126
00:11:19,144 --> 00:11:21,798
Oh, Moondog!
127
00:11:21,800 --> 00:11:24,198
It's so nice of Ray to let us
have the wedding at his place.
128
00:11:24,200 --> 00:11:26,055
He's really pulled out
all the stops.
129
00:11:26,057 --> 00:11:27,335
Lingerie Doggy Dog?
130
00:11:27,337 --> 00:11:29,670
He got ordained
just for the event.
131
00:11:29,672 --> 00:11:31,110
Dearly beloved.
132
00:11:31,112 --> 00:11:33,063
No, I wouldn't say that shit
like that.
133
00:11:33,065 --> 00:11:34,825
Players and playettes.
134
00:11:35,720 --> 00:11:40,679
Today, we have this man
coming for this woman.
135
00:11:40,681 --> 00:11:43,206
Bitch, you know you're too young
to be married, right?
136
00:11:43,208 --> 00:11:45,193
You got a lot of livin' to do,
baby.
137
00:11:45,961 --> 00:11:48,870
Ain't nobody made your little
pink twitter squirt yet, huh?
138
00:11:48,872 --> 00:11:51,752
You need to settle down somewhere
and run for the motherfucking hills.
139
00:11:52,297 --> 00:11:54,408
Shit, I got sidetracked
for a minute.
140
00:11:56,137 --> 00:11:57,735
Putt!
141
00:11:57,737 --> 00:12:00,294
It breaks my heart, Moondog,
breaks my heart,
142
00:12:00,296 --> 00:12:02,214
'cause you
a motherfucking has-been, boy.
143
00:12:02,216 --> 00:12:04,230
Whatever the fuck that is.
144
00:12:04,232 --> 00:12:07,142
- Is that a bad thing?
- Goddamn it's a bad thing, Moondog.
145
00:12:07,144 --> 00:12:10,535
As your forever agent, I feel obliged
to be truthful with you at all times.
146
00:12:10,537 --> 00:12:12,935
- You're a shitty agent.
- It's sad, Moondog.
147
00:12:12,937 --> 00:12:15,303
You used to be a motherfucking
ATM for me, boy.
148
00:12:15,305 --> 00:12:20,999
You have pissed away your talent on
women and booze and total excess.
149
00:12:21,001 --> 00:12:22,695
Now you're talking.
150
00:12:22,697 --> 00:12:24,774
Yeah, all those things,
that's what feeds the juices
151
00:12:24,776 --> 00:12:27,495
up here my nugget, man,
through my loins up the Autobahn,
152
00:12:27,497 --> 00:12:29,126
my spirit and mind, man.
153
00:12:29,128 --> 00:12:32,102
I'm... I'm moist right now,
I'm lubricating.
154
00:12:32,104 --> 00:12:34,439
You're the fastest horse
in my stable, boy.
155
00:12:34,441 --> 00:12:36,742
You think I wanna take
a motherfucking shotgun,
156
00:12:36,744 --> 00:12:39,686
put it in your mouth, blow your brains
all over my nice, motherfucking clothes?
157
00:12:39,688 --> 00:12:41,766
That's the fucking Lewis
I'm talking about.
158
00:12:41,768 --> 00:12:45,382
You think I wanna do that?
You was a revolutionary writer.
159
00:12:45,384 --> 00:12:49,671
You were a radical.
Your words meant something to people.
160
00:12:49,673 --> 00:12:52,166
Either way, it's a good thing
I'm rich, Lewis.
161
00:12:52,168 --> 00:12:53,543
Especially since I'm well hung.
162
00:12:53,545 --> 00:12:56,968
You ain't rich, Moondog.
Your wife's rich.
163
00:12:57,577 --> 00:13:00,135
That's true.
164
00:13:00,137 --> 00:13:02,183
And it's been a while since I had you
in them, but you ain't well hung, boy!
165
00:13:02,185 --> 00:13:04,742
- You ain't well hung!
- Get in there!
166
00:13:04,744 --> 00:13:05,768
Goddamn!
167
00:13:06,185 --> 00:13:08,713
- San Francisco standoff, baby?
- Oh!
168
00:13:12,232 --> 00:13:13,734
I read in The Pelican today Heather's
getting married. It's a big day.
169
00:13:13,736 --> 00:13:16,518
Yeah, this afternoon
handing her off.
170
00:13:16,520 --> 00:13:18,182
Well, congratulations.
171
00:13:18,184 --> 00:13:20,838
And you know what?
I worked through it,
172
00:13:20,840 --> 00:13:23,401
and I'm not even upset, even a little bit,
that I was not included in the ceremonies.
173
00:13:24,392 --> 00:13:25,991
Oh, you thought
you'd be included?
174
00:13:25,993 --> 00:13:28,679
No, well, like I said,
I'm busy, anyway,
175
00:13:28,681 --> 00:13:31,430
so like I said,
I'm not offended.
176
00:13:31,432 --> 00:13:33,800
And I just want to be clear,
this doesn't have to do...
177
00:13:34,760 --> 00:13:36,455
with the incident
a few years back.
178
00:13:36,457 --> 00:13:38,438
Oh, when you walked in
and saw that...
179
00:13:38,440 --> 00:13:40,166
I didn't know
she was changing.
180
00:13:40,168 --> 00:13:42,342
She said you stayed a little
longer than a few seconds.
181
00:13:42,344 --> 00:13:45,926
Well, I used to mix signals back then.
182
00:13:45,928 --> 00:13:49,799
It was a confusing time.
I would misread things often.
183
00:13:49,801 --> 00:13:51,942
Whatever raises your skirt,
man. It never bothered me.
184
00:13:51,944 --> 00:13:54,791
Well, I'm busy, regardless,
so I could not attend,
185
00:13:54,793 --> 00:13:57,638
even if you... if people
had a change of heart.
186
00:13:57,640 --> 00:14:02,342
- I-I, um, have other obligations.
- Sweet as, man.
187
00:14:02,344 --> 00:14:04,199
- Yeah.
- Hey, here's your ball, man.
188
00:14:04,201 --> 00:14:05,990
Let's knock this fucker back to
the fair and get a good line.
189
00:14:08,968 --> 00:14:11,782
- Name is?
- Chardan.
190
00:14:11,784 --> 00:14:14,951
Now, how does that say Chardan
all the way up in a weird line?
191
00:14:14,953 --> 00:14:16,998
Do you know
what my horoscope said?
192
00:14:17,000 --> 00:14:18,822
Don't play with matches.
193
00:14:18,824 --> 00:14:21,769
You don't have to,
because the fire is already lit, sweetie.
194
00:14:22,568 --> 00:14:27,110
That veil is fire.
You got a lot of great things going on
195
00:14:27,112 --> 00:14:29,192
all over your B-O-D-Y
right now.
196
00:14:30,121 --> 00:14:32,198
- I got a leopard.
- Leopard?
197
00:14:32,200 --> 00:14:34,982
- Yeah.
- I've got volcano orange.
198
00:14:45,384 --> 00:14:48,807
♪ The mountain is high
The valley is low ♪
199
00:14:48,809 --> 00:14:51,016
I love you.
You're so crazy.
200
00:14:57,545 --> 00:15:00,870
What are you making
back there, a salad?
201
00:15:07,432 --> 00:15:09,542
Are you making a burger
back there?
202
00:15:16,745 --> 00:15:23,144
♪ Who do you suppose
I really love? ♪
203
00:15:27,752 --> 00:15:30,119
- Hello.
- Moondog. Where are you?
204
00:15:30,121 --> 00:15:32,807
Yeah! Yeah! Oh!
205
00:15:32,809 --> 00:15:34,887
Hey, baby,
right around the corner.
206
00:15:34,889 --> 00:15:37,830
Finishing up a little yoga class.
Downward-doggie style.
207
00:15:37,832 --> 00:15:39,591
You are gonna miss
our daughter's wedding.
208
00:15:39,593 --> 00:15:41,896
I wouldn't miss it
for the world.
209
00:15:42,697 --> 00:15:45,959
I'm right around the corner, honey.
Pulling in the driveway any second.
210
00:15:45,961 --> 00:15:48,742
The limp-dick groom
is melting down.
211
00:15:52,040 --> 00:15:55,143
- Okay, hurry up, please.
- You're stressing me. - I love you, baby.
212
00:15:55,145 --> 00:15:57,894
- I'm on my way.
- Okay. The wedding is starting.
213
00:15:57,896 --> 00:15:59,720
Lingerie, let's hit it, baby.
214
00:16:00,713 --> 00:16:03,558
Love between a boy
and a girl can be so wonderful.
215
00:16:03,560 --> 00:16:07,271
Especially when it's the girl that
I've known ever since she was born.
216
00:16:07,273 --> 00:16:10,022
Heather, you know I love you
and I love your family
217
00:16:10,024 --> 00:16:12,008
and I'm so happy
to see you get married today.
218
00:16:13,033 --> 00:16:14,312
To him.
219
00:16:15,656 --> 00:16:16,550
And you gotta be ready to take on
everything that she stands for.
220
00:16:16,552 --> 00:16:20,039
What are you doing?
221
00:16:20,041 --> 00:16:21,735
Bye, Mom.
222
00:16:23,528 --> 00:16:26,279
I'm just kidding.
223
00:16:26,281 --> 00:16:28,358
Sweetie, that's not my mom.
You know that.
224
00:16:28,360 --> 00:16:29,670
How are you?
225
00:16:29,672 --> 00:16:30,982
May I borrow that, Lounge?
226
00:16:30,984 --> 00:16:32,295
Sir. Yes, sir.
227
00:16:32,297 --> 00:16:34,088
All right. Everyone knows
this is my daughter.
228
00:16:34,505 --> 00:16:36,327
Me and my Minnie-Boo's daughter.
229
00:16:36,329 --> 00:16:38,118
Aw!
230
00:16:38,120 --> 00:16:40,582
I'm gonna be handing away
the bride-to-be right now.
231
00:16:40,584 --> 00:16:44,358
A little family tradition we got before
we hand over a daughter in our family.
232
00:16:44,360 --> 00:16:45,927
We gotta...
233
00:16:45,929 --> 00:16:47,975
...check the package.
234
00:16:47,977 --> 00:16:50,150
- What are you doing?
- You understand, it's not bad.
235
00:16:50,152 --> 00:16:51,783
Like, five inches flaccid.
236
00:16:51,785 --> 00:16:54,630
Uh, Mr. Ray, your mic, sir.
Thank you.
237
00:16:54,632 --> 00:16:56,454
Pardon the interruption.
238
00:16:56,456 --> 00:16:58,982
We'd like to thank Mr. Moondog
for that presentation.
239
00:16:58,984 --> 00:17:02,951
Today, dearly beloved,
we come together
240
00:17:02,953 --> 00:17:05,862
to give Heather
to Mr. Limpy.
241
00:17:05,864 --> 00:17:08,646
You have one motherfucking
problem with this family.
242
00:17:08,648 --> 00:17:09,798
They fucked up.
243
00:17:12,392 --> 00:17:14,567
Is that
the motherfucking Moondog?
244
00:17:14,569 --> 00:17:17,126
The one and only paw me.
Yeah, Longet.
245
00:17:17,128 --> 00:17:21,926
Moondog, be careful. This here...
I can't even explain it.
246
00:17:21,928 --> 00:17:25,830
This is like a hallucinogenic.
See all kinds of shit, man.
247
00:17:25,832 --> 00:17:29,127
My number one jam, you know, the single
that was number one for 16 weeks.
248
00:17:29,129 --> 00:17:32,615
- Uh-huh.
- This is that thing. Wait, wait, wait.
249
00:17:32,617 --> 00:17:37,190
Be careful, dog You're about to go
to a place you never been before.
250
00:17:37,192 --> 00:17:39,112
That shit don't come
with seat belts.
251
00:17:39,817 --> 00:17:41,382
He almost ruined the whole day.
252
00:17:41,384 --> 00:17:44,039
Don't say that. No, it was fun.
253
00:17:44,041 --> 00:17:45,416
He's fucked up, Mom.
254
00:17:46,345 --> 00:17:49,223
- It's just Moondog.
- Don't make excuses for him.
255
00:17:49,225 --> 00:17:52,937
You just kind of have to accept
that he's from another dimension.
256
00:17:53,672 --> 00:17:54,855
He really is.
257
00:17:54,857 --> 00:17:56,807
And you have to love him for it.
I do.
258
00:17:56,809 --> 00:17:58,887
You and limp dick are
gonna have to accept that.
259
00:18:00,745 --> 00:18:02,759
No, but I do think Moondog's
mother coddled him way too much.
260
00:18:02,761 --> 00:18:06,663
I've told her this before. I mean,
he wore a diaper until he was eight.
261
00:18:06,665 --> 00:18:09,255
Honestly, I think she put brandy
in his little bottle.
262
00:18:12,872 --> 00:18:15,590
Man, I'm high. My nuts
are throbbing right now.
263
00:18:15,592 --> 00:18:18,601
First time I hit this shit,
I nearly went into a coma.
264
00:18:19,561 --> 00:18:21,318
I forgot
how to motherfucking breathe.
265
00:18:21,320 --> 00:18:22,823
What do you see?
266
00:18:22,825 --> 00:18:25,384
The delights of 39 ladies.
267
00:18:27,721 --> 00:18:30,248
What about those cartoons
right there? Can you see them?
268
00:18:32,264 --> 00:18:34,217
Are we looking
at the same screen?
269
00:18:37,193 --> 00:18:40,679
- Are you sleeping with Lingerie?
- Yes. Yes.
270
00:18:40,681 --> 00:18:42,025
And he's a wonderful lover.
271
00:18:42,632 --> 00:18:44,999
Does Dad know?
272
00:18:45,001 --> 00:18:48,359
Your father wouldn't mind, darling.
Your father goes away. You know, Ray is...
273
00:18:54,056 --> 00:18:58,247
Um, I think it was just,
Ray's been there, I mean...
274
00:18:58,249 --> 00:19:02,118
At your third birthday, it was
Ray who brought the pony in.
275
00:19:02,120 --> 00:19:04,967
I remember.
And he blew out my candles.
276
00:19:04,969 --> 00:19:06,918
Exactly. Well, he was stoned.
277
00:19:06,920 --> 00:19:08,807
What's happening
down here, Captain?
278
00:19:08,809 --> 00:19:11,334
Just fuck with me one time, dog.
You are going to love it.
279
00:19:11,336 --> 00:19:13,382
Slide in
with your ride in, dog.
280
00:19:13,384 --> 00:19:16,647
What the fuck?
281
00:19:16,649 --> 00:19:21,126
Moondog, welcome to the NASA
command center of Mary Jane.
282
00:19:21,128 --> 00:19:27,078
This shit only grows in an isolated pond in Jamaica.
283
00:19:27,080 --> 00:19:30,089
It sprouts out of
a pink fluorescent moss patch.
284
00:19:30,985 --> 00:19:34,278
- Pink fluorescent?
- Mmm-hmm.
285
00:19:34,280 --> 00:19:38,694
This weed here is so good, it can make
a motherfucker yearn for the afterlife.
286
00:19:38,696 --> 00:19:41,257
It could send you
to the outer limits of humanity.
287
00:19:41,545 --> 00:19:45,255
That's the keys
and the trees to my success.
288
00:19:45,257 --> 00:19:48,135
Because once a year,
I fly to Jamaica,
289
00:19:48,137 --> 00:19:50,662
throw a concert
in a big, old park.
290
00:19:50,664 --> 00:19:51,977
Bribe the government.
291
00:19:52,840 --> 00:19:56,454
They turn their cheek this way,
and we fly off that way.
292
00:19:56,456 --> 00:19:58,441
- Get down.
- Mmm-hmm.
293
00:20:02,825 --> 00:20:05,511
You won't remember this
but the day you were born,
294
00:20:05,513 --> 00:20:08,358
when you came out of your mother's
womb, I was there between her legs.
295
00:20:08,360 --> 00:20:12,359
And your head came out nice
and smooth with guts all over.
296
00:20:12,361 --> 00:20:14,728
It was a bloody mess
but it was poetry.
297
00:20:15,272 --> 00:20:17,766
I saw your face
but I didn't quite see your eyes
298
00:20:17,768 --> 00:20:20,999
until I stuck my pinky finger
in this like placenta veil
299
00:20:21,001 --> 00:20:24,294
and peeled it back over
your face and there you were.
300
00:20:24,296 --> 00:20:28,710
And that's when I put my hands on both sides
of your head and escorted you into this world.
301
00:20:28,712 --> 00:20:30,375
Aw!
302
00:20:30,377 --> 00:20:33,287
I want to say...
What's your name again?
303
00:20:33,289 --> 00:20:34,535
- For real.
- Frank.
304
00:20:34,537 --> 00:20:36,774
- Frank.
- Frank Upink.
305
00:20:36,776 --> 00:20:37,768
Now...
306
00:20:39,401 --> 00:20:43,526
I give you my daughter to put your hands,
and take her into the rest of the world.
307
00:20:43,528 --> 00:20:45,414
- Aww... beautiful.
- Thank you.
308
00:21:01,736 --> 00:21:02,728
Oh, shit.
309
00:21:10,537 --> 00:21:12,422
In the dusk,
you see that woman.
310
00:21:12,424 --> 00:21:18,182
She is singing to us, calling us
back over the vistas of our past,
311
00:21:18,184 --> 00:21:20,936
right back to our child
hunched under the piano...
312
00:21:22,280 --> 00:21:25,993
sitting in the boom,
and the tinkling strings.
313
00:21:26,857 --> 00:21:29,897
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
He's got his hand on it.
314
00:21:30,632 --> 00:21:32,936
On the foot of his mother.
315
00:21:34,057 --> 00:21:35,720
And she smiles...
316
00:21:37,480 --> 00:21:39,335
as she sings.
317
00:21:39,337 --> 00:21:41,382
And in spite of myself,
318
00:21:41,384 --> 00:21:44,423
the insidious mastery
of the song
319
00:21:44,425 --> 00:21:47,144
has betrayed me back
once again...
320
00:21:49,097 --> 00:21:53,161
to the heart of me,
where I weep to belong.
321
00:21:55,464 --> 00:22:01,096
Oh! That is the most brilliant
shit I've ever heard.
322
00:22:01,801 --> 00:22:02,729
You wrote that?
323
00:22:07,976 --> 00:22:09,543
Yeah, I did.
324
00:22:09,545 --> 00:22:13,095
- That is some wild shit, dog.
- Glad you like it, man.
325
00:22:13,097 --> 00:22:15,047
I wrote that
in my younger years.
326
00:22:15,049 --> 00:22:16,552
Phew!
327
00:22:20,488 --> 00:22:24,422
Actually, D. H.
Lawrence wrote it. All right?
328
00:22:24,424 --> 00:22:28,262
But I stole and plagiarized it for
my seventh-grade poetry contest.
329
00:22:28,264 --> 00:22:29,641
And guess what?
330
00:22:31,240 --> 00:22:32,999
I won that motherfucker.
331
00:22:35,209 --> 00:22:37,225
- Moondog, you my motherfucker.
- Hey, hey.
332
00:22:38,089 --> 00:22:39,592
Family and friends...
333
00:22:40,520 --> 00:22:43,368
thank you for coming and sharing
this perfect day with us.
334
00:22:43,913 --> 00:22:46,439
This day has been
off the hook, am I right?
335
00:22:48,745 --> 00:22:51,174
Heather, you're my angel.
336
00:22:51,176 --> 00:22:53,545
Thanks.
337
00:23:20,137 --> 00:23:23,177
- Where have you been?
- Waiting for you.
338
00:23:24,776 --> 00:23:26,855
Have you seen Moondog, darling?
339
00:23:26,857 --> 00:23:30,502
No, I haven't. But what I do know is
when I don't see him and I see you,
340
00:23:30,504 --> 00:23:32,775
that means
there's more time for us.
341
00:23:40,264 --> 00:23:43,910
♪ Show me, show me, show me
How you do that trick ♪
342
00:23:43,912 --> 00:23:46,982
♪ The one that makes me scream
She said ♪
343
00:23:46,984 --> 00:23:50,055
♪ The one that makes me laugh
She said ♪
344
00:23:50,057 --> 00:23:53,094
♪ And threw her arms around
My neck ♪
345
00:23:53,096 --> 00:23:57,414
♪ Show me how you do it
And I promise you ♪
346
00:23:57,416 --> 00:24:00,584
♪ I promise that
I'll run away with you ♪
347
00:24:01,705 --> 00:24:03,721
♪ I'll run away with you ♪
348
00:24:06,952 --> 00:24:08,264
Wow.
349
00:24:24,424 --> 00:24:26,088
You need some help, man?
350
00:24:28,297 --> 00:24:29,703
Sir, are you okay?
351
00:24:35,944 --> 00:24:37,897
♪ It's nobody's fault ♪
352
00:24:41,800 --> 00:24:44,007
♪ Don't know the reason ♪
353
00:24:45,512 --> 00:24:47,336
♪ Stayed here all season ♪
354
00:24:49,513 --> 00:24:53,000
♪ Nothing to show
But this brand-new tattoo ♪
355
00:24:56,425 --> 00:24:58,441
♪ But it's a real beauty ♪
356
00:25:00,169 --> 00:25:02,216
♪ A Mexican cutie ♪
357
00:25:03,848 --> 00:25:07,657
♪ How it got here
I haven't a clue ♪
358
00:25:11,464 --> 00:25:15,400
♪ Wastin' away again
In Margaritaville ♪
359
00:25:18,280 --> 00:25:22,313
♪ Searchin' for my lost shaker
Of salt ♪
360
00:25:25,864 --> 00:25:32,039
♪ Some people claim that
There's a woman to blame ♪
361
00:25:32,041 --> 00:25:33,416
♪ Now I think ♪
362
00:25:34,856 --> 00:25:37,160
♪ Hell, it could be my fault ♪
363
00:25:38,665 --> 00:25:42,121
♪ The only two things in life
That make it worth livin' ♪
364
00:25:43,081 --> 00:25:46,472
♪ Is guitars that tune good
And firm feelin' women ♪
365
00:25:47,752 --> 00:25:50,761
♪ I don't need my name
In the marquee lights ♪
366
00:25:51,977 --> 00:25:55,974
♪ I got my song and I
Got you with me tonight ♪
367
00:25:55,976 --> 00:26:02,281
♪ Maybe it's time we got back
To the basics of love ♪
368
00:26:03,368 --> 00:26:06,375
♪ Let's go to
Luckenbach, Texas ♪
369
00:26:06,377 --> 00:26:09,992
♪ With Waylon and Willie
And the boy ♪
370
00:26:12,744 --> 00:26:14,918
♪ This successful life
We're livin' ♪
371
00:26:14,920 --> 00:26:18,408
♪ Got us feuding like
The Hatfields and McCoys ♪
372
00:26:21,416 --> 00:26:23,336
You know, I knew...
373
00:26:24,232 --> 00:26:26,537
I knew
Minnie was fucking Lingerie.
374
00:26:28,520 --> 00:26:32,358
Sometimes
you just know... Just know...
375
00:26:32,360 --> 00:26:34,217
You don't have an explanation.
376
00:26:34,952 --> 00:26:38,855
Like you two. You probably
just knew, right? Huh?
377
00:26:40,712 --> 00:26:43,720
What tricks of the trade
have you got going on, huh?
378
00:26:45,577 --> 00:26:47,208
Moondog!
379
00:26:47,816 --> 00:26:53,735
Hey, hey, hey, Minnie-Minnie
Boo-Boo. Minnie-Boo.
380
00:26:53,737 --> 00:26:55,976
I knew I'd find you here,
darling.
381
00:26:58,824 --> 00:27:00,935
You are fucking stunning.
382
00:27:03,049 --> 00:27:08,488
God was having a good fucking
day when he made the Minnie-Boo.
383
00:27:08,936 --> 00:27:11,655
I think it's their anniversary
and if it's not, it ought to be.
384
00:27:11,657 --> 00:27:13,544
Oh! Happy anniversary!
385
00:27:14,857 --> 00:27:18,375
Sweetie, don't be insincere with strangers.
It doesn't look good on you.
386
00:27:18,377 --> 00:27:20,870
- Let's go driving.
- You wanna go driving?
387
00:27:20,872 --> 00:27:22,790
- Let's go!
- Let me grab my beer.
388
00:27:22,792 --> 00:27:25,193
Happy anniversary.
389
00:27:26,824 --> 00:27:29,798
I remember
when I was a little girl,
390
00:27:29,800 --> 00:27:31,432
our house caught on fire,
391
00:27:32,041 --> 00:27:34,374
I'll never forget the look
on my father's face,
392
00:27:34,376 --> 00:27:39,337
as he gathered me up in his arms and raced
to the burning building on the pavement.
393
00:27:40,649 --> 00:27:43,271
And I stood there,
shivering in my pajamas,
394
00:27:43,273 --> 00:27:46,470
and watched the whole world
go up in flames,
395
00:27:46,472 --> 00:27:49,864
and when it was all over
I said to myself,
396
00:27:51,049 --> 00:27:53,833
is that all there is to a fire?
397
00:27:56,424 --> 00:27:58,664
Is that all there is?
398
00:28:04,553 --> 00:28:09,030
♪ If that's all there is
My friends ♪
399
00:28:09,032 --> 00:28:12,841
♪ Then let's keep dancing ♪
400
00:28:13,289 --> 00:28:16,775
♪ Let's break out the booze ♪
401
00:28:16,777 --> 00:28:20,392
♪ And have a ball ♪
402
00:28:22,504 --> 00:28:29,257
♪ If that's all there is ♪
403
00:28:32,552 --> 00:28:37,576
And then I fell in love
with the most wonderful boy in the world.
404
00:28:38,728 --> 00:28:41,065
We'd take long walks
down by the river.
405
00:28:41,960 --> 00:28:45,959
Or just sit for hours
gazing into each other's eyes.
406
00:28:45,961 --> 00:28:47,624
We were so very much in love.
407
00:28:49,577 --> 00:28:52,616
And then one day, he went away,
408
00:28:53,224 --> 00:28:56,137
and I thought I'd die
but I didn't,
409
00:28:57,545 --> 00:29:01,095
and when I didn't,
I said to myself,
410
00:29:01,097 --> 00:29:03,558
is that all there is to love?
411
00:29:03,560 --> 00:29:06,408
♪ Is that all there is? ♪
412
00:29:07,432 --> 00:29:10,344
♪ Is that all there is? ♪
413
00:29:11,624 --> 00:29:15,462
♪ If that's all there is
My friends ♪
414
00:29:15,464 --> 00:29:18,215
♪ Then let's keep... ♪
415
00:29:18,217 --> 00:29:20,360
I know what you
must be saying to yourselves.
416
00:29:21,097 --> 00:29:25,225
If that's the way she feels about
it, why doesn't she just end it all?
417
00:29:26,120 --> 00:29:28,582
Oh, no, not me.
418
00:29:28,584 --> 00:29:31,878
I'm not ready
for that final disappointment.
419
00:29:31,880 --> 00:29:33,638
Because I know,
420
00:29:33,640 --> 00:29:36,232
as sure as I am standing here
talking to you,
421
00:29:37,321 --> 00:29:40,393
when that final moment comes and
I'm breathing my last breath,
422
00:29:41,480 --> 00:29:43,974
I'll be saying to myself...
423
00:29:43,976 --> 00:29:47,113
♪ Is that all there is? ♪
424
00:29:48,073 --> 00:29:51,113
♪ Is that all there is? ♪
425
00:29:52,105 --> 00:29:55,849
♪ If that's all there is
My friends ♪
426
00:29:56,521 --> 00:29:59,912
♪ Then let's keep dancing ♪
427
00:30:00,520 --> 00:30:03,591
♪ Let's break out the booze ♪
428
00:30:03,593 --> 00:30:07,912
♪ And have a ball ♪
429
00:30:09,193 --> 00:30:11,432
♪ If that's all ♪
430
00:30:13,832 --> 00:30:18,089
♪ There is ♪
431
00:30:32,936 --> 00:30:34,153
Where's Minnie?
432
00:30:44,584 --> 00:30:46,408
Airbag deployed.
Possible chest trauma.
433
00:30:48,392 --> 00:30:50,088
Keep the C-collar in place,
please.
434
00:30:51,208 --> 00:30:52,553
How much has she been prepped?
435
00:31:25,225 --> 00:31:28,584
- Hey.
- Hey. Hey.
436
00:31:31,145 --> 00:31:32,456
Hey, there.
437
00:31:34,600 --> 00:31:36,232
Aw.
438
00:31:46,376 --> 00:31:47,944
What do you want to do?
439
00:31:49,801 --> 00:31:51,656
- I...
- What do you want to do?
440
00:31:54,089 --> 00:31:56,103
You're such a fuck-up.
441
00:32:10,441 --> 00:32:12,169
Mmm...
442
00:32:26,408 --> 00:32:29,126
And to Almighty God
we commend the soul
443
00:32:29,128 --> 00:32:30,630
of our departed sister,
444
00:32:30,632 --> 00:32:33,064
and we commit her body
to the ground.
445
00:32:33,832 --> 00:32:38,024
Earth to earth,
ashes to ashes, dust to dust.
446
00:32:39,049 --> 00:32:40,998
Minnie was a fine woman,
447
00:32:41,000 --> 00:32:44,809
and we, her family and friends,
are blessed to have known her.
448
00:32:45,640 --> 00:32:48,807
In the fullness of time,
with the help of the good Lord,
449
00:32:48,809 --> 00:32:51,270
we shall all be with her again.
450
00:32:51,272 --> 00:32:54,984
Until that time, may
the blessings of God Almighty...
451
00:33:15,560 --> 00:33:17,384
How are you doing, honey?
452
00:33:17,960 --> 00:33:22,120
I'm okay. I'm okay. How are you?
453
00:33:33,320 --> 00:33:35,720
"When I was born, I was happy.
454
00:33:36,328 --> 00:33:40,070
I was born on the ocean a gigantic boat.
Big fucking boat.
455
00:33:40,072 --> 00:33:41,543
My parents were fishermen.
456
00:33:41,545 --> 00:33:44,135
Both were
great long-distance runners.
457
00:33:44,137 --> 00:33:46,022
I was read to as a child,
458
00:33:46,024 --> 00:33:49,670
mostly books about survival
and contortion.
459
00:33:49,672 --> 00:33:52,230
I drank off the teats
of caribou, scrumptious,
460
00:33:52,232 --> 00:33:55,079
tasted like jasmine
and cupcakes..."
461
00:33:55,081 --> 00:33:56,775
Fucking good, Moondog.
462
00:33:56,777 --> 00:33:59,302
"I lived through several wars.
They were never fun.
463
00:33:59,304 --> 00:34:00,615
Why? Because I was shot at.
464
00:34:00,617 --> 00:34:02,502
But I fucking returned fire.
465
00:34:02,504 --> 00:34:04,391
I wrote letters to loved ones
and memorized..."
466
00:34:05,672 --> 00:34:08,295
"...stared in the mirror.
467
00:34:08,297 --> 00:34:12,390
I did what I had to do...
to keep going."
468
00:34:12,392 --> 00:34:14,662
Damn, I was good.
469
00:34:21,673 --> 00:34:22,856
That's great poetry.
470
00:34:40,073 --> 00:34:43,462
Come on,
what's nothing mean, huh?
471
00:34:43,464 --> 00:34:47,366
Nothing. That's what it means.
Not a single cent until...
472
00:34:47,368 --> 00:34:48,553
Until what?
473
00:34:49,321 --> 00:34:51,464
You gotta publish your novel
or you get nothing.
474
00:34:54,569 --> 00:34:55,976
Uh...
475
00:34:57,128 --> 00:34:59,846
Minnie always had a feeling
she was going to die before you.
476
00:34:59,848 --> 00:35:03,880
She used to call me up in a panic
because someone did her tarot cards.
477
00:35:04,297 --> 00:35:08,007
Predicted it all, freaked her
out but she was right, I guess.
478
00:35:08,009 --> 00:35:09,544
Her will is very precise.
479
00:35:10,664 --> 00:35:11,881
Minnie had a will.
480
00:35:12,713 --> 00:35:14,408
Motherfucker. That's weird.
481
00:35:15,241 --> 00:35:16,710
Yes, she did.
482
00:35:16,712 --> 00:35:18,503
She was concerned that if
anything ever happened to her,
483
00:35:18,505 --> 00:35:20,550
you'd piss away her family's
fortune and she wanted you
484
00:35:20,552 --> 00:35:23,015
to finally publish your novel.
485
00:35:23,017 --> 00:35:24,423
Poems.
486
00:35:24,425 --> 00:35:27,560
- Whatever.
- I write poetry, you old bitch.
487
00:35:28,808 --> 00:35:31,175
Until then half of everything
goes to Heather,
488
00:35:31,177 --> 00:35:34,278
and the other half of yours
sits frozen in escrow
489
00:35:34,280 --> 00:35:38,246
for a bit of time until you fulfill
the requirements stated here.
490
00:35:38,248 --> 00:35:40,422
It's about time
you guys got here.
491
00:35:40,424 --> 00:35:41,992
I need some help
carrying my luggage.
492
00:35:42,409 --> 00:35:44,329
Come in and kick off your shoes.
493
00:35:46,153 --> 00:35:48,167
Effective immediately, you can go back
to your home, and get your typewriter
494
00:35:48,169 --> 00:35:49,864
and some crappy underwear
but that's it.
495
00:35:50,664 --> 00:35:52,584
You're now persona non grata.
496
00:35:52,969 --> 00:35:55,559
Minnie owned everything.
Everything was in her name.
497
00:35:55,561 --> 00:35:59,464
You're now basically a bum.
She owned the cars, clothes,
498
00:36:00,264 --> 00:36:02,663
houses,
country-club memberships.
499
00:36:02,665 --> 00:36:05,030
- Cats and dogs.
- She did not own all the cats.
500
00:36:05,032 --> 00:36:06,377
Minnie loved you very much.
501
00:36:07,304 --> 00:36:09,543
She just hated seeing you
throw it all away.
502
00:36:09,545 --> 00:36:13,736
Thank you, Minnie-Boo.
503
00:36:15,113 --> 00:36:17,510
Fuck you, as well.
504
00:36:17,512 --> 00:36:19,496
I mean, to be fair, there's a whole
lot of bad guys out there, right?
505
00:36:20,105 --> 00:36:23,208
You guys are with me
in my wife's closet.
506
00:36:25,801 --> 00:36:28,262
This is what you went to
the academy, though, for, right?
507
00:36:28,264 --> 00:36:32,262
Shit like this. Look after guys
like me at times like this.
508
00:36:32,264 --> 00:36:35,718
You never know when you're gonna
catch a fully dressed man unarmed.
509
00:36:35,720 --> 00:36:37,830
I'm gonna wear
my Minnie-Boo's Uggs.
510
00:36:38,953 --> 00:36:41,192
Wear them in her memory.
511
00:36:42,121 --> 00:36:44,521
She had abnormally large feet.
512
00:36:45,992 --> 00:36:47,591
Great fucking style.
513
00:36:47,593 --> 00:36:48,776
See those books?
514
00:36:49,801 --> 00:36:50,600
I wrote those.
515
00:36:52,712 --> 00:36:54,536
You're probably not big readers,
are you?
516
00:36:55,529 --> 00:36:57,160
That's cool, no pressure.
517
00:36:58,952 --> 00:37:01,862
Alvarez,
I wrote that one for you.
518
00:37:01,864 --> 00:37:05,766
Jose, I'm gonna take
a little leave of absence.
519
00:37:05,768 --> 00:37:09,318
But I left you a little bush of
the sticky-icky that you like.
520
00:37:09,320 --> 00:37:11,495
But I can't tell you
where it is.
521
00:37:11,497 --> 00:37:14,246
These guys might go and try and smoke
it, but it's the same place as last time.
522
00:37:14,248 --> 00:37:16,326
- Keep the pool hot.
- I put it on 120 for you.
523
00:37:16,328 --> 00:37:18,982
That's what I'm talking about.
524
00:37:18,984 --> 00:37:21,095
Keep it there, baby, and add the chlorine
'cause I may have a gangbang when I get back.
525
00:37:21,097 --> 00:37:23,303
- I'll invite your mother.
- Thank you, Mr. Moondog.
526
00:37:23,305 --> 00:37:25,670
Wish me luck. I'm off to
write the next great American novel.
527
00:37:25,672 --> 00:37:26,759
Thank you, sir.
528
00:37:26,761 --> 00:37:28,103
Mom did this for a reason.
529
00:37:28,105 --> 00:37:29,641
I'm not
going to let you stay here.
530
00:37:30,056 --> 00:37:31,112
Okay.
531
00:37:31,720 --> 00:37:33,798
Dad...
532
00:37:33,800 --> 00:37:35,814
- Sorry.
- How about just loaning me a little bit of spending cash?
533
00:37:35,816 --> 00:37:37,446
So I can get by
for a week or two.
534
00:37:37,448 --> 00:37:39,080
Dad, I just...
535
00:37:40,457 --> 00:37:42,246
I'll be here for you but just
don't come back till you're ready.
536
00:37:42,248 --> 00:37:44,135
I mean, I'm not asking
for the world here.
537
00:37:44,137 --> 00:37:48,006
I'm just asking for a wee bit
of compassion for your father.
538
00:37:48,008 --> 00:37:50,183
I know.
But when is it going to end?
539
00:37:50,185 --> 00:37:53,510
You're gonna keep coming back and
ask me for more and more and more.
540
00:37:53,512 --> 00:37:54,953
Dad, I love you
but I can't do that.
541
00:37:55,624 --> 00:37:56,840
I just can't.
542
00:37:57,833 --> 00:37:59,814
Just come back
when you're ready but...
543
00:37:59,816 --> 00:38:01,254
Okay, I understand.
544
00:38:01,256 --> 00:38:02,598
- I'm sorry.
- I understand.
545
00:38:02,600 --> 00:38:04,104
Don't apologize to me.
546
00:38:05,480 --> 00:38:08,072
You'll see, you'll see,
my little angel.
547
00:38:09,128 --> 00:38:10,790
I'll be back.
548
00:38:10,792 --> 00:38:12,390
Better than ever, back so good.
549
00:38:12,392 --> 00:38:14,951
You're going to see that I was
never gone in the first place.
550
00:38:14,953 --> 00:38:16,550
I love you, Dad. I'm sorry.
551
00:38:16,552 --> 00:38:17,897
I love you.
552
00:38:19,368 --> 00:38:22,791
I still don't understand how you
married this milk-drinking closet case.
553
00:38:22,793 --> 00:38:26,471
I mean, look at him. He's got
no magic, he's got no style.
554
00:38:26,473 --> 00:38:28,102
He's dressed up
like a J.V. cheerleader.
555
00:38:28,104 --> 00:38:30,377
I had high hopes for you,
Heather. High fucking hopes.
556
00:38:31,112 --> 00:38:34,118
Fuck off! Get out of here,
you fucking turd.
557
00:38:34,120 --> 00:38:35,336
It's okay.
558
00:38:35,912 --> 00:38:38,153
Sorry. He just makes me crazy.
559
00:38:40,009 --> 00:38:42,472
He may be a jerk
but he's a great man.
560
00:38:43,753 --> 00:38:44,936
He's brilliant.
561
00:38:45,961 --> 00:38:48,200
I mean, you'll never be
great or brilliant.
562
00:38:50,248 --> 00:38:51,560
You're dependable.
563
00:38:53,992 --> 00:38:55,529
Oh, well, thanks.
564
00:39:18,569 --> 00:39:21,351
Float me enough cash to get back
down to the Keys
565
00:39:21,353 --> 00:39:25,991
to buy the fun goodies that make me smile
and laugh all day. Is that so much to ask?
566
00:39:25,993 --> 00:39:28,742
I can't do it for you, big papa.
I can't.
567
00:39:28,744 --> 00:39:32,646
Because you know what, I been waiting
for ages and I ain't getting no pages.
568
00:39:32,648 --> 00:39:34,566
I can't do it.
569
00:39:34,568 --> 00:39:35,943
That's a good...
That's a good point.
570
00:39:35,945 --> 00:39:37,350
It is a good point.
571
00:39:37,352 --> 00:39:39,174
That's why I made it,
you dumb fuck.
572
00:39:39,176 --> 00:39:41,735
I'm not asking you to part
the fucking Red Sea for me.
573
00:39:41,737 --> 00:39:45,830
I'm asking for enough loot to set me up for a
few weeks here so I can have my daily goodies.
574
00:39:45,832 --> 00:39:47,910
A little booze, a little weed,
a little poontang.
575
00:39:47,912 --> 00:39:50,630
That is not asking too much.
And since you are saying you won't,
576
00:39:50,632 --> 00:39:52,904
then do your fucking job
and just get me a gig, you know?
577
00:39:53,608 --> 00:39:55,462
Fuck, I'll speak anywhere.
578
00:39:55,464 --> 00:39:58,374
Set me up at a church, public
library, a retirement home...
579
00:39:58,376 --> 00:40:01,734
Mapco! They can pump their gas and they hear
me through the little speakers up there.
580
00:40:01,736 --> 00:40:04,262
The little aluminum thing.
581
00:40:04,264 --> 00:40:08,521
My God. Call my motherfucking chiropractor.
My back is gonna be fucked up tomorrow.
582
00:40:09,832 --> 00:40:12,167
Fucking, I'm not even sure...
583
00:40:12,169 --> 00:40:17,766
Oh, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, is friendship
about, I need something from you?
584
00:40:17,768 --> 00:40:20,007
Do you do you understand
what I'm talking about?
585
00:40:20,009 --> 00:40:21,671
Civility.
586
00:40:21,673 --> 00:40:25,158
- Yes!
- Make complete sense, man.
587
00:40:25,160 --> 00:40:28,518
I have real clients
up for literary awards.
588
00:40:28,520 --> 00:40:31,369
I'm sending faxes at my office.
589
00:40:32,137 --> 00:40:33,032
Hello?
590
00:40:35,144 --> 00:40:38,022
This motherfucker
hung up on me. Oh, my God!
591
00:40:43,561 --> 00:40:44,809
What's going on, guys?
592
00:40:45,512 --> 00:40:47,304
Hey, is Lounger in?
593
00:40:48,553 --> 00:40:51,239
- No.
- Lingerie is not in?
594
00:40:51,241 --> 00:40:52,647
- No.
- Where is he?
595
00:40:52,649 --> 00:40:54,119
Jamaica.
596
00:40:54,121 --> 00:40:58,057
Oh, the magical stoner.
597
00:40:59,240 --> 00:41:03,049
I get your drift, man.
Your silence is code with me.
598
00:41:03,977 --> 00:41:06,953
So what's with the guns? Huh?
599
00:41:09,065 --> 00:41:10,952
You guys ever watched
Magnum P.I.?
600
00:41:11,977 --> 00:41:13,673
It's based on my life.
601
00:41:14,696 --> 00:41:17,480
I watch it all the time.
It's like looking in the fucking mirror.
602
00:41:22,120 --> 00:41:24,712
All right, catch you later.
603
00:41:28,073 --> 00:41:30,152
Hey, let him know
Moondog came by.
604
00:42:02,440 --> 00:42:07,559
The wind, the rain, the stars,
the bird, the clock will answer you.
605
00:42:07,561 --> 00:42:09,510
Get drunk, good man.
606
00:42:12,457 --> 00:42:14,953
Get drunk, and stay drunk.
607
00:42:15,656 --> 00:42:17,798
Is that poetry?
608
00:42:17,800 --> 00:42:21,095
Of course it's poetry, you toothless,
illiterate chump. It's Baudelaire.
609
00:42:21,097 --> 00:42:22,919
- Here's a poem.
- Come on.
610
00:42:22,921 --> 00:42:28,326
It goes...
611
00:42:34,184 --> 00:42:37,062
Not bad, Phil, not bad at all.
612
00:42:37,064 --> 00:42:39,017
Hey,
who wants to go on a field trip?
613
00:44:08,264 --> 00:44:12,327
This your car here?
614
00:44:12,329 --> 00:44:15,272
Why did you destroy your own house?
615
00:44:16,040 --> 00:44:19,784
Boredom, I guess. I don't know.
616
00:44:20,521 --> 00:44:23,879
Dad. What is wrong with you?
617
00:44:23,881 --> 00:44:25,350
I'm fine.
618
00:44:25,352 --> 00:44:26,631
I'm really better than fine.
619
00:44:26,633 --> 00:44:28,614
This is another little adventure
we are on.
620
00:44:28,616 --> 00:44:30,438
When did you become
such a Republican?
621
00:44:30,440 --> 00:44:31,910
Republican?
622
00:44:31,912 --> 00:44:33,320
- Whatever.
- Oh, my God.
623
00:44:33,961 --> 00:44:36,263
I'm just getting my groove on.
Having a little fun.
624
00:44:36,265 --> 00:44:38,343
- Your groove?
- Yeah.
625
00:44:38,345 --> 00:44:40,712
- What groove?
- Honey, whoa...
626
00:44:41,480 --> 00:44:43,400
When was the last time
you laughed, honey?
627
00:44:44,680 --> 00:44:46,825
Do the thing. See if you can
make my baby laugh.
628
00:44:48,520 --> 00:44:52,104
Hi, Heather,
I am Toothless Phil.
629
00:44:52,585 --> 00:44:54,471
I am a good friend
of your daddy.
630
00:44:54,473 --> 00:44:58,728
We want you to be happy. We
love you just the way you are.
631
00:44:59,113 --> 00:45:02,984
Who's your daddy? Moondog's
your daddy. He loves you.
632
00:45:04,552 --> 00:45:05,641
Mmm-hmm.
633
00:45:06,025 --> 00:45:07,462
Back again, huh?
634
00:45:07,464 --> 00:45:10,441
Your choice, prison or rehab.
635
00:45:11,497 --> 00:45:13,254
Is there a third option?
636
00:45:13,256 --> 00:45:16,134
- Nope. Last chance.
- Rehab, it is.
637
00:45:16,136 --> 00:45:17,574
Preferably somewhere tropical.
638
00:45:17,576 --> 00:45:19,559
I'm remanding you
to the custody of your daughter.
639
00:45:19,561 --> 00:45:21,894
She will escort you
to a rehab facility now.
640
00:45:21,896 --> 00:45:23,207
Great.
641
00:45:23,209 --> 00:45:25,254
You need to spend
a mandatory 12 months there,
642
00:45:25,256 --> 00:45:27,335
- getting your life back together.
- Twelve days is not a problem.
643
00:45:27,337 --> 00:45:28,775
Twelve months.
644
00:45:31,496 --> 00:45:32,615
Okay.
645
00:45:32,617 --> 00:45:33,927
It all stops now.
646
00:45:33,929 --> 00:45:35,783
- The foolishness.
- I understand.
647
00:45:35,785 --> 00:45:37,350
I need a change of pace.
Yeah, yeah.
648
00:45:37,352 --> 00:45:39,591
And if you mess this up,
it's jail time.
649
00:45:39,593 --> 00:45:41,351
If I may suggest, Your Honor...
650
00:45:41,353 --> 00:45:43,142
Tell 'er, Moondog!
651
00:45:43,144 --> 00:45:46,343
I was told of this amazing rehab
facility in the Virgin Islands.
652
00:45:46,345 --> 00:45:49,350
It's got an open bar
and 24-hour Thai massage.
653
00:45:49,352 --> 00:45:53,606
An old jerky jerk could take the
edge off during the detox period.
654
00:45:53,608 --> 00:45:56,039
Drain the old jizz pipe
of the antitoxins.
655
00:45:56,041 --> 00:45:59,366
- Excuse me?
- With all due respect to my own
656
00:45:59,368 --> 00:46:02,471
personal, fluid transition
into my sobriety,
657
00:46:02,473 --> 00:46:06,246
I wanna let you know that the
therapeutic value of a groin massage
658
00:46:06,248 --> 00:46:08,519
during the acute withdrawal
phase is off the charts.
659
00:46:08,521 --> 00:46:11,305
- Fucking medicinal.
- It's not gonna happen.
660
00:46:12,040 --> 00:46:14,694
- It's not gonna happen.
- Why you gotta be like that?
661
00:46:14,696 --> 00:46:17,190
You know, I was a real fan
of your writing, Moondog.
662
00:46:17,192 --> 00:46:19,753
Huh?
663
00:46:21,032 --> 00:46:22,441
Shut up.
664
00:46:23,753 --> 00:46:27,398
You know, it amazes me how someone
that can write so beautifully
665
00:46:27,400 --> 00:46:29,351
can be so crude and reckless.
666
00:46:29,353 --> 00:46:31,559
Don't you be acting like you
never heard the rooster crow.
667
00:46:31,561 --> 00:46:35,080
Don't let us down, Moondog.
We're rooting for you. Next.
668
00:46:35,752 --> 00:46:36,680
Get him out of there.
669
00:46:37,545 --> 00:46:40,646
Heather, my dear.
Would you be so kind
670
00:46:40,648 --> 00:46:43,849
as to pull over and get
your old man one final beer?
671
00:46:45,512 --> 00:46:46,537
Sure, Dad.
672
00:46:47,753 --> 00:46:52,455
Give me a Lucky Lotto, Triple
Seven and a cigar, would you?
673
00:46:52,457 --> 00:46:53,353
Sure.
674
00:46:54,184 --> 00:46:57,864
- You don't sell acid, do you?
- No.
675
00:46:58,249 --> 00:47:00,904
That's too bad.
This place used to.
676
00:47:05,033 --> 00:47:06,376
Your mother loved me.
677
00:47:07,112 --> 00:47:08,456
Yes, Dad.
678
00:47:08,840 --> 00:47:11,622
- She said that?
- Of course.
679
00:47:11,624 --> 00:47:15,976
- She think I was brilliant?
- She thought you were a genius.
680
00:47:17,513 --> 00:47:18,856
She said that?
681
00:47:20,840 --> 00:47:23,113
That's why she stayed with you
all those years.
682
00:47:25,000 --> 00:47:28,073
And that's why you've always been
able to get away with everything, Dad.
683
00:47:30,793 --> 00:47:34,889
Ah, Minnie-Boo.
She had an incredible ass.
684
00:47:36,264 --> 00:47:39,593
Could fellate like a python. Fuck,
she could fellate a python if she wanted.
685
00:47:41,513 --> 00:47:42,632
I'm gonna miss her.
686
00:47:49,385 --> 00:47:50,536
Let's go to rehab.
687
00:47:58,025 --> 00:47:59,975
Hmm.
I'll try and do better, okay?
688
00:47:59,977 --> 00:48:02,631
Okay, you can do this.
689
00:48:02,633 --> 00:48:05,447
Hmm, yeah. All right, Sunrise.
690
00:48:05,449 --> 00:48:06,952
Let's get this party started.
691
00:48:08,425 --> 00:48:10,950
Really wasn't up to me. Should
have heard the judge, man.
692
00:48:10,952 --> 00:48:13,062
She swung a hard gavel.
693
00:48:13,064 --> 00:48:14,185
She was a fan of mine too.
694
00:48:14,953 --> 00:48:16,679
Which is kind of weird.
695
00:48:16,681 --> 00:48:18,534
I mean, I wouldn't have come
down here like, you know,
696
00:48:18,536 --> 00:48:20,838
if I didn't have a little bit
of a nudge, you know.
697
00:48:20,840 --> 00:48:23,270
Well, this lady's very happy
that you're here.
698
00:48:23,272 --> 00:48:25,511
We have your entire year
planned out.
699
00:48:25,513 --> 00:48:28,489
So when you leave us,
you'll be a changed person.
700
00:48:33,193 --> 00:48:35,910
God, grant me the serenity
701
00:48:35,912 --> 00:48:38,982
to accept the things
I cannot change
702
00:48:38,984 --> 00:48:42,054
and the courage to change
the things I can,
703
00:48:42,056 --> 00:48:43,945
and the wisdom to know
the difference.
704
00:48:49,384 --> 00:48:51,304
You guys are funny.
705
00:48:51,689 --> 00:48:52,775
That's such bullshit.
706
00:48:54,409 --> 00:48:57,001
Ah, you are
fucking talking to yourself.
707
00:48:57,416 --> 00:49:02,151
What's up, everybody? My name
is J.C. Cramer. Third time here.
708
00:49:02,153 --> 00:49:05,223
What? Who's repeating?
Who's repeating? Oh, you are.
709
00:49:05,225 --> 00:49:08,807
Yeah. First time I was here,
I was drinking a lot.
710
00:49:08,809 --> 00:49:11,655
So I decided to make myself
a better person.
711
00:49:11,657 --> 00:49:13,190
I decided to come here.
712
00:49:13,192 --> 00:49:15,462
When I got out, I was good
for about six months,
713
00:49:15,464 --> 00:49:19,431
and my friends were like, "Dude,
you don't have to drink to have fun..."
714
00:49:24,137 --> 00:49:27,207
My dad's a preacher. He's the
one that fucking put me in here.
715
00:49:27,209 --> 00:49:28,806
Why?
716
00:49:28,808 --> 00:49:30,887
Because he caught me
huffing paint a few times.
717
00:49:30,889 --> 00:49:34,342
Also, I was breaking into people's
houses and just burning shit.
718
00:49:34,344 --> 00:49:36,326
Like, nothing real bad.
719
00:49:36,328 --> 00:49:38,279
I love lighting shit on fire.
720
00:49:38,281 --> 00:49:40,199
I'm a tiger, bro.
It wasn't dangerous.
721
00:49:40,201 --> 00:49:42,054
- Yeah.
- Nobody was home.
722
00:49:42,056 --> 00:49:44,039
We didn't find out the kids
were upstairs until later.
723
00:49:44,041 --> 00:49:45,990
If I wasn't there, they would've
fucking burned to death.
724
00:49:45,992 --> 00:49:47,879
- I got 'em out.
- From the second floor?
725
00:49:47,881 --> 00:49:49,702
- Yeah.
- With a ladder, and shit?
726
00:49:49,704 --> 00:49:51,174
Yeah. No. I just went upstairs.
727
00:49:51,176 --> 00:49:52,263
- That's cool.
- Yeah.
728
00:49:54,089 --> 00:49:57,414
- What type of music is this?
- Christian fucking metal, man.
729
00:49:57,416 --> 00:49:59,751
- Do you like it?
- I do.
730
00:49:59,753 --> 00:50:03,654
The band is from Albuquerque. The lead
singer fucking blew himself up by accident.
731
00:50:03,656 --> 00:50:06,022
Accident? Nice.
732
00:50:06,024 --> 00:50:08,934
Fucking gone, dude,
just disappeared. Fucking weird.
733
00:50:08,936 --> 00:50:10,535
How do you know these guys, man?
734
00:50:10,537 --> 00:50:13,638
I was in a cover band. And
goddamn! We used to fucking...
735
00:50:13,640 --> 00:50:16,199
...rock this shit.
736
00:50:16,201 --> 00:50:18,857
I don't blame you, man,
this is good shit.
737
00:50:19,849 --> 00:50:22,055
Do you think
about getting out of here?
738
00:50:22,057 --> 00:50:24,713
Out there is the real world.
739
00:50:25,417 --> 00:50:27,462
In here is the fake world.
740
00:50:27,464 --> 00:50:29,094
All right?
741
00:50:29,096 --> 00:50:31,655
Out there is beautiful.
Things really happen.
742
00:50:31,657 --> 00:50:36,678
The seasons change, babies are
born, old men wither away and die.
743
00:50:36,680 --> 00:50:38,951
The fucking sands of time.
744
00:50:38,953 --> 00:50:41,190
Eloquently put, Flicker.
745
00:50:41,192 --> 00:50:42,983
The choice is yours.
746
00:50:42,985 --> 00:50:46,344
Sell me no more, man.
Let's blow this fucking joint.
747
00:50:52,424 --> 00:50:54,920
That is real shit, bro!
Guess we go for time.
748
00:50:55,337 --> 00:50:58,151
Fast into overdrive. Fucking
punch this shit, Bro. Go!
749
00:50:58,153 --> 00:51:00,774
Fuck you!
750
00:51:00,776 --> 00:51:05,190
Come on, baby, let's go.
Fucking freedom!
751
00:51:05,192 --> 00:51:07,400
Like, can't you feel it,
brother?
752
00:51:07,784 --> 00:51:11,687
Love is in the air. See,
things happen in the real world.
753
00:51:11,689 --> 00:51:15,591
Look, we're at a wedding.
And my God, look at that boat.
754
00:51:15,593 --> 00:51:17,990
Oh, beautiful.
755
00:51:17,992 --> 00:51:19,431
Beautiful! Congrats, man!
756
00:51:23,017 --> 00:51:24,329
Get back here, asshole.
757
00:51:25,417 --> 00:51:27,078
Have a great honeymoon.
758
00:51:27,080 --> 00:51:29,031
You two look fucking fine.
759
00:51:44,329 --> 00:51:48,423
We're free, man. You drove that golf
cart with the wings of God behind you.
760
00:51:48,425 --> 00:51:52,007
Let's get up to a little
Devil's business before we get saved.
761
00:51:52,009 --> 00:51:53,958
You know the best part
about the devil.
762
00:51:53,960 --> 00:51:56,039
Fucking, he finds the fun.
763
00:51:56,041 --> 00:51:58,919
And then we take Jesus and we just
ride him all the way to the top,
764
00:51:58,921 --> 00:52:01,446
because the best part is, we can
do whatever the fuck we want.
765
00:52:01,448 --> 00:52:03,337
Jesus already paid
for all our sins.
766
00:52:03,817 --> 00:52:06,407
- Excuse me, thank you.
- Fuck you, pal.
767
00:52:07,944 --> 00:52:09,449
Hey, do that flick thing you do.
768
00:52:13,993 --> 00:52:15,080
Do it again.
769
00:52:18,824 --> 00:52:21,735
- Moondog!
- Do you know what we need?
770
00:52:21,737 --> 00:52:24,615
- What, what do we need?
- We need money, man.
771
00:52:24,617 --> 00:52:26,279
Fucking money.
772
00:52:26,281 --> 00:52:28,038
Goddamn it,
you're a fucking genius.
773
00:52:28,040 --> 00:52:29,607
I know
where we can get some money.
774
00:52:29,609 --> 00:52:32,327
- Where?
- Just follow me, my friend.
775
00:52:32,329 --> 00:52:34,151
Cool.
776
00:52:34,153 --> 00:52:36,231
♪ I've got two tickets
To paradise ♪
777
00:52:36,233 --> 00:52:39,815
♪ Won't you pack your bags
We'll leave tonight ♪
778
00:52:39,817 --> 00:52:43,464
♪ I've got two tickets
To paradise ♪
779
00:52:44,009 --> 00:52:46,664
Yo, Moondog!
Hold this! Hold this!
780
00:52:47,945 --> 00:52:49,448
Watch this.
781
00:52:53,417 --> 00:52:56,262
Boy. Hey, I'm sorry, man. You're gonna
be fine. We just need this money.
782
00:52:56,264 --> 00:52:59,207
Don't want to be part
of this derelict behavior, man.
783
00:52:59,209 --> 00:53:01,254
Derelict behavior?
What are you talking about?
784
00:53:01,256 --> 00:53:04,230
- Christ already paid for all our sins...
- Come on, man, let's go!
785
00:53:04,232 --> 00:53:05,735
Wait, hold on.
786
00:53:05,737 --> 00:53:07,494
- Uh...
- No, no, no, no.
787
00:53:07,496 --> 00:53:09,575
Fuck, that was for him
when he wakes up, dude.
788
00:53:09,577 --> 00:53:12,390
- Fuck that.
- Fucking A, man.
789
00:53:12,392 --> 00:53:15,366
You know the best part about
God? Christ was even a sinner.
790
00:53:15,368 --> 00:53:18,022
- So we clean, man.
- That's my money!
791
00:53:23,752 --> 00:53:28,071
♪ Down in Jamaica they
Got lots of pretty women ♪
792
00:53:28,073 --> 00:53:31,817
♪ Steal your money
Then they break your heart ♪
793
00:53:32,713 --> 00:53:36,647
♪ Lonesome Sue
She's in love with old Sam ♪
794
00:53:36,649 --> 00:53:40,551
♪ Take him from the fire
Into the frying pan ♪
795
00:53:40,553 --> 00:53:42,663
♪ On and on ♪
796
00:53:42,665 --> 00:53:46,311
♪ She just keeps on trying ♪
797
00:53:46,313 --> 00:53:50,310
♪ And she smiles
When she feels like crying ♪
798
00:53:50,312 --> 00:53:52,071
♪ On and on ♪
799
00:53:52,073 --> 00:53:54,758
♪ On and on
On and on ♪
800
00:53:54,760 --> 00:53:57,544
God, you're so beautiful.
I love you.
801
00:54:00,328 --> 00:54:02,184
I love you.
802
00:54:03,625 --> 00:54:05,351
Hmm.
803
00:54:05,353 --> 00:54:08,454
Oh, setting sun,
though the time has come,
804
00:54:08,456 --> 00:54:10,409
I warble under you.
805
00:54:11,336 --> 00:54:13,576
Well, no one else does.
806
00:54:13,960 --> 00:54:17,127
Unmitigated adoration.
807
00:54:19,880 --> 00:54:21,865
Hey, that was fucking beautiful.
808
00:54:23,272 --> 00:54:26,440
I know, right. There she is,
shining on you, man.
809
00:54:27,752 --> 00:54:30,534
- I'm outta here, man.
- I mean you. I mean you.
810
00:54:30,536 --> 00:54:33,414
We're all the same.
Give me a hug, man.
811
00:54:33,416 --> 00:54:35,432
- You leaving?
- Setting sail, man.
812
00:54:37,289 --> 00:54:40,263
Yeah. Hey, that was the
most fun I had in a long time.
813
00:54:40,265 --> 00:54:41,991
- Fuck, yeah.
- For real, brother.
814
00:54:41,993 --> 00:54:44,809
For real, brother. You got
God on your shoulder, man.
815
00:54:46,633 --> 00:54:49,128
Ain't that far down
if you don't look, right?
816
00:54:50,569 --> 00:54:52,264
Hey, just promise me one thing.
817
00:54:53,449 --> 00:54:55,142
Remember me.
818
00:54:55,144 --> 00:54:59,080
Every time you think of my face,
you remember this.
819
00:55:00,169 --> 00:55:03,270
This shines bright,
fucking real bright.
820
00:55:03,272 --> 00:55:05,833
- You got it, tiger.
- Go spread that light.
821
00:55:06,536 --> 00:55:08,072
Shine big, brother.
822
00:55:12,424 --> 00:55:16,710
♪ I can see her lyin' back
In her satin dress ♪
823
00:55:16,712 --> 00:55:22,247
♪ In a room where ya do
What ya don't confess ♪
824
00:55:22,249 --> 00:55:25,670
♪ Sundown you better take care ♪
825
00:55:25,672 --> 00:55:30,121
♪ If I find you been creepin'
Round my back stairs ♪
826
00:55:30,953 --> 00:55:34,406
♪ Sundown you better take care ♪
827
00:55:34,408 --> 00:55:39,016
♪ If I find you been creepin'
Round my back stairs ♪
828
00:55:40,712 --> 00:55:45,222
♪ She's been lookin' like
A queen in a sailor's dream ♪
829
00:55:45,224 --> 00:55:50,662
♪ And she don't always say
What she really means ♪
830
00:55:50,664 --> 00:55:53,895
♪ Sometimes
I think it's a sham ♪
831
00:55:53,897 --> 00:55:58,760
♪ When I get feelin' better
When I'm feelin' no pain ♪
832
00:55:59,368 --> 00:56:02,567
♪ Sometimes
I think it's a sham ♪
833
00:56:02,569 --> 00:56:06,632
♪ When I get feelin' better
When I'm feelin' no pain ♪
834
00:56:13,640 --> 00:56:17,991
♪ I can picture every move
That a man could make ♪
835
00:56:17,993 --> 00:56:19,526
♪ Getting lost in her lovin' ♪
836
00:56:19,528 --> 00:56:21,929
Hey. Asshole.
837
00:56:23,464 --> 00:56:26,694
♪ Sundown you better take care ♪
838
00:56:26,696 --> 00:56:31,014
♪ If I find you been creepin'
Round my back stairs ♪
839
00:56:31,016 --> 00:56:32,327
Aw, Jesus.
840
00:56:32,329 --> 00:56:35,238
♪ Sometimes I think it's a sin ♪
841
00:56:35,240 --> 00:56:39,207
♪ When I feel like I'm winnin'
When I'm losin' again ♪
842
00:56:41,960 --> 00:56:43,432
Hmm.
843
00:56:47,849 --> 00:56:49,448
Guess who's back.
844
00:56:50,152 --> 00:56:51,433
Hey!
845
00:56:52,264 --> 00:56:54,438
- Place is good.
- What's up, man?
846
00:56:54,440 --> 00:56:57,158
- It's pretty lunar these days, man.
- Good to see you.
847
00:56:57,160 --> 00:57:01,734
Gotta tell you, Moondog, business
is so good, I bought a second boat.
848
00:57:01,736 --> 00:57:04,071
- Yeah?
- Yeah. Named it Success.
849
00:57:04,073 --> 00:57:06,470
I just take tourists
to the Outer Key.
850
00:57:06,472 --> 00:57:09,446
When they see a dolphin,
I act all fucking stoked.
851
00:57:09,448 --> 00:57:12,678
Right. Oh, there's a dolphin.
Look at the baby dolphin.
852
00:57:12,680 --> 00:57:15,337
Tell him to dive in
and make sure they don't drown.
853
00:57:15,817 --> 00:57:18,663
- I only had four deaths on my watch.
- Only four?
854
00:57:18,665 --> 00:57:21,959
Four deaths in over eight
straight years of dolphin touring.
855
00:57:21,961 --> 00:57:23,399
It's a terrific record.
856
00:57:23,401 --> 00:57:25,383
Now, I've been stripped
of my license temporarily
857
00:57:25,385 --> 00:57:28,902
on five separate occasions but each
time, I get it reinstated
858
00:57:28,904 --> 00:57:31,782
due to a technicality
I never quite understood.
859
00:57:31,784 --> 00:57:32,967
It is beyond luck.
860
00:57:32,969 --> 00:57:35,430
Karma, man, I'm blessed, bruh.
861
00:57:35,432 --> 00:57:36,551
Meant to be.
862
00:57:36,553 --> 00:57:38,438
I've seen many in this industry.
863
00:57:38,440 --> 00:57:40,457
They fucked with old Captain
Whack around these parts.
864
00:57:42,088 --> 00:57:43,623
Don't fuck with Captain Whack.
865
00:57:43,625 --> 00:57:47,113
You will get whacked
for fucking with Captain Whack.
866
00:57:53,608 --> 00:57:57,414
Dolphins. I love
those fucking dolphins, man.
867
00:57:57,416 --> 00:57:59,622
The sounds
that come out of their mouth...
868
00:57:59,624 --> 00:58:01,767
They're trying
to communicate with you.
869
00:58:01,769 --> 00:58:04,326
All you gotta do
is talk back to 'em.
870
00:58:04,328 --> 00:58:08,231
I fell in love with dolphins ever since
I saw the show Flipper. Blew me away.
871
00:58:08,233 --> 00:58:10,311
How they make that noise.
872
00:58:13,193 --> 00:58:15,590
I'll tell you, I wouldn't
be able to live like this
873
00:58:15,592 --> 00:58:18,662
if I wasn't fucking doing
dolphin tours.
874
00:58:18,664 --> 00:58:19,784
I wouldn't have all this.
875
00:58:20,456 --> 00:58:22,408
This is all from dolphin tours.
876
00:58:24,584 --> 00:58:27,302
I've got something.
Get your ass...
877
00:58:27,304 --> 00:58:30,152
There. Oh, we gonna fry
this motherfucker up.
878
00:58:30,952 --> 00:58:32,104
Yes.
879
00:58:33,289 --> 00:58:35,912
Gotta get your tastebuds ready.
Yeah. This is almost done.
880
00:58:36,457 --> 00:58:38,664
Lookee here, Moondog.
You come work for me, man.
881
00:58:39,049 --> 00:58:40,742
It would be great.
882
00:58:40,744 --> 00:58:43,590
Dolphins are great, when they
go up and down in the water
883
00:58:43,592 --> 00:58:45,767
like porpoise,
you'll learn that shit, man.
884
00:58:45,769 --> 00:58:47,015
That sounds cool, Whack.
885
00:58:47,017 --> 00:58:48,649
Yeah. I'm here now.
886
00:58:49,352 --> 00:58:51,398
What the fuck?
887
00:58:51,400 --> 00:58:53,096
- Fucking...
- Man, that shit's loaded.
888
00:58:53,480 --> 00:58:56,838
Man! You could've killed
a dolphin, Moon Dog.
889
00:58:56,840 --> 00:58:59,463
You want to shoot something, shoot this thing here.
890
00:58:59,465 --> 00:59:01,031
This is what I used in 'Nam.
891
00:59:01,033 --> 00:59:02,153
Shit, man.
892
00:59:03,560 --> 00:59:06,215
Now I gotta feed
my coke-addicted parrot.
893
00:59:06,217 --> 00:59:08,713
- Yeah, set him up.
- Give me some of this shit right here.
894
00:59:09,800 --> 00:59:11,015
Oh, yeah.
895
00:59:11,017 --> 00:59:12,678
There you go.
896
00:59:12,680 --> 00:59:15,239
She's gonna get high as shit.
897
00:59:15,241 --> 00:59:19,398
But seriously, Moondog, I could use a partner
and I got a good sense about you, man.
898
00:59:19,400 --> 00:59:22,278
- Like I say, I'm in.
- Yeah, man. Yeah.
899
00:59:22,280 --> 00:59:24,423
We become millionaires
together, man.
900
00:59:24,425 --> 00:59:27,558
- Shit, man. Looks good.
- Look how far I've come so far.
901
00:59:27,560 --> 00:59:28,775
I like your style, Whack.
902
00:59:30,601 --> 00:59:32,967
Look at that, see
the juices dripping off that?
903
00:59:32,969 --> 00:59:35,720
- Oh, man, that's gonna be good.
- Gonna be real good, man.
904
00:59:37,256 --> 00:59:38,633
I like your swagger.
905
00:59:39,529 --> 00:59:41,318
Thanks, Moondog.
906
00:59:41,320 --> 00:59:44,393
Got nicked in 'Nam,
makes me walk like a pimp.
907
00:59:45,289 --> 00:59:51,622
Some shrapnel partially shredded my nut
sack but everything still works fine.
908
00:59:51,624 --> 00:59:53,737
Bop, bop, bop.
909
00:59:54,472 --> 00:59:57,798
Well, usually, when people call and
say they coming for the dolphin tour,
910
00:59:57,800 --> 01:00:00,230
they come and they pay cash,
right?
911
01:00:00,232 --> 01:00:02,473
My bread and butter,
baby, my bread and butter.
912
01:00:03,241 --> 01:00:07,655
So you can tell in the tone of their
voice, they're, like, serious.
913
01:00:07,657 --> 01:00:09,926
Exactly. If they really
love the dolphins
914
01:00:09,928 --> 01:00:14,375
and if they really want to see the dolphins,
you hear it in their voice, right?
915
01:00:14,377 --> 01:00:16,712
See? That's right.
916
01:00:17,672 --> 01:00:22,439
Come on over. Yes. Hi. Welcome.
917
01:00:22,441 --> 01:00:25,254
Lots of dolphins for you today.
Yeah.
918
01:00:25,256 --> 01:00:28,518
Act real stoked.
Act real stoked. Yeah!
919
01:00:31,912 --> 01:00:33,479
- Welcome aboard.
- Welcome.
920
01:00:33,481 --> 01:00:36,135
- What's your name, little lady?
- Lexie Lipschitz.
921
01:00:36,137 --> 01:00:39,592
I knew it.
Hello, Miss Lipschitz.
922
01:00:40,040 --> 01:00:42,470
- Hello.
- Dr. Lipschitz, call me Ted.
923
01:00:42,472 --> 01:00:44,934
- All the Schitzes.
- One, two, three.
924
01:00:44,936 --> 01:00:48,807
♪ We are the Lipschitzes
That is our name ♪
925
01:00:48,809 --> 01:00:50,759
Listen up, everybody.
All right.
926
01:00:50,761 --> 01:00:52,583
We're in the middle
of mating season.
927
01:00:52,585 --> 01:00:55,494
If you see some humping,
don't look away.
928
01:00:55,496 --> 01:00:57,095
It's cool, looking.
929
01:00:57,097 --> 01:00:59,015
It's nature in all its glory.
930
01:00:59,017 --> 01:01:00,359
Dolphins love to bone.
931
01:01:00,361 --> 01:01:03,239
- Oh, my God.
- Listen up, kids!
932
01:01:03,241 --> 01:01:06,119
Greatest guide in the history of dolphin
guiding, sharing wisdom with you.
933
01:01:06,121 --> 01:01:09,350
- Thanks, Moondog.
- It's a fact. Now, what he failed to mention,
934
01:01:09,352 --> 01:01:12,935
that these dolphins have got
a sort of corkscrew pecker.
935
01:01:12,937 --> 01:01:16,070
All right. A little, whippy,
winding ranky-cank thing.
936
01:01:16,072 --> 01:01:18,278
It's true, kids.
It's sort of like a corkscrew.
937
01:01:18,280 --> 01:01:20,231
- People, look out.
- And it's orgy season.
938
01:01:20,233 --> 01:01:23,495
So hopefully, we will get to see
something, some real wild stuff.
939
01:01:23,497 --> 01:01:26,214
Everybody's fucking, they're really
horny this time of the season.
940
01:01:26,216 --> 01:01:28,007
So watch your back, Carnello.
941
01:01:28,009 --> 01:01:29,735
Some of them prefer redheads.
942
01:01:29,737 --> 01:01:31,559
Is this thing safe?
943
01:01:31,561 --> 01:01:33,863
Very safe. I wouldn't have you
on here if it wasn't safe.
944
01:01:33,865 --> 01:01:36,486
Family, I just gotta tell you,
I love dolphins so much.
945
01:01:36,488 --> 01:01:40,070
After today, you're gonna love
dolphins as much as I love dolphins.
946
01:01:40,072 --> 01:01:41,511
They don't hurt you.
947
01:01:41,513 --> 01:01:43,238
- They just want to love you...
- Dolphins know this man.
948
01:01:43,240 --> 01:01:46,118
They come from all over the
world to come see Captain Whack.
949
01:01:46,120 --> 01:01:49,064
- They're coming to see me.
- You guys get to be on his boat today.
950
01:01:51,272 --> 01:01:52,838
All right, all right.
951
01:01:52,840 --> 01:01:54,502
I see a few out there.
952
01:01:54,504 --> 01:01:55,911
We have business.
Who wants to dive in?
953
01:01:55,913 --> 01:01:57,863
No, we're good.
954
01:01:57,865 --> 01:02:01,128
It's prime mating season.
Seaweed is an aphrodisiac.
955
01:02:02,120 --> 01:02:03,750
I think they're getting
cold feet black, Whack.
956
01:02:03,752 --> 01:02:06,054
All right.
Last chance, any takers?
957
01:02:06,056 --> 01:02:08,519
- No...
- Y'all are a bunch of pussies.
958
01:02:08,521 --> 01:02:11,048
Dolphins, here I come, baby.
959
01:02:13,352 --> 01:02:16,071
Get... Get in!
960
01:02:16,073 --> 01:02:19,336
Get in. This water's beautiful.
961
01:02:21,320 --> 01:02:24,617
- Honey, look at the dolphins.
- Lots of dolphins, motherfuckers.
962
01:02:26,120 --> 01:02:29,415
- Does that look right?
- Get in! The water's perfect!
963
01:02:29,417 --> 01:02:32,137
You good, Whack? Are you good?
964
01:02:33,577 --> 01:02:37,383
- Dolphins...
- Honey, honey, honey!
965
01:02:37,385 --> 01:02:39,080
That doesn't
look like a dolphin fin.
966
01:02:39,817 --> 01:02:42,728
Captain, that kinda looks
like a shark fin.
967
01:02:43,624 --> 01:02:45,542
This must all be part of a show.
968
01:02:45,544 --> 01:02:48,264
I'm having a great time.
It's perfect.
969
01:02:50,696 --> 01:02:52,457
Come back, Mr. Whack!
970
01:02:53,609 --> 01:02:56,168
Oh! What the fuck?
971
01:02:57,320 --> 01:03:01,383
Fuck it, Whack! You put on a fucking show, man.
972
01:03:01,385 --> 01:03:02,824
This ain't
no motherfucking dolph...
973
01:03:07,177 --> 01:03:11,622
- Whoa, that's cool.
- When was the last time he cut his toenails, seriously?
974
01:03:11,624 --> 01:03:16,518
- That's gnarly.
- Shit. Holy shit.
975
01:03:16,520 --> 01:03:20,391
- Oh, Lord!
- Just a flesh wound. Don't worry!
976
01:03:20,393 --> 01:03:22,856
Holy shit, where's my foot?
977
01:03:23,369 --> 01:03:26,281
Fuck, Whack.
He got a pretty good, man.
978
01:03:26,953 --> 01:03:29,670
Oh, man. Couldn't have been
a fucking dolphin.
979
01:03:29,672 --> 01:03:31,815
Can't believe this shit, man.
980
01:03:31,817 --> 01:03:35,753
I'm pretty sure it wasn't a dolphin
that bit you, just look at your foot.
981
01:03:37,417 --> 01:03:39,527
Listen, you're gonna be all right.
You're gonna be just fine.
982
01:03:39,529 --> 01:03:41,094
I mean,
it's just a little flesh wound.
983
01:03:41,096 --> 01:03:42,409
You're gonna be up dancing
in no time.
984
01:03:44,360 --> 01:03:46,022
You going somewhere,
motherfucker?
985
01:03:46,024 --> 01:03:48,265
Yeah, I am.
986
01:03:49,832 --> 01:03:51,176
Trade you, though.
987
01:03:53,096 --> 01:03:54,697
Foot for the hat, huh?
988
01:03:55,528 --> 01:03:57,350
Come on.
989
01:03:57,352 --> 01:03:58,950
Here we go. Cool, man.
990
01:03:58,952 --> 01:04:00,903
It's been real, Moondog.
991
01:04:00,905 --> 01:04:03,719
It's been more than that.
It's been whack, Captain Whack.
992
01:04:05,192 --> 01:04:06,377
See you down the road.
993
01:04:23,881 --> 01:04:26,696
Look at what the Moondog
just sniffed out.
994
01:04:27,752 --> 01:04:32,904
Yeah, yeah, yeah, Lounger!
Hey, Jimmy.
995
01:04:33,353 --> 01:04:35,078
- I'm back.
- Moondog?
996
01:04:35,080 --> 01:04:37,670
- Yeah. I'm back!
- Where the fuck you been, man?
997
01:04:37,672 --> 01:04:39,015
You look like shit.
998
01:04:39,017 --> 01:04:41,478
No, I look like I always look.
999
01:04:41,480 --> 01:04:42,951
We're about to set sail.
Come fuck with us.
1000
01:04:42,953 --> 01:04:44,615
Let's go.
1001
01:04:44,617 --> 01:04:46,697
I think we need to look
at a positive ID on him.
1002
01:04:47,272 --> 01:04:48,903
Make sure the motherfucker
washes his feet.
1003
01:04:48,905 --> 01:04:51,654
Take your shoes off, dog, when
you get on the fucking boat.
1004
01:04:58,249 --> 01:05:00,359
Glad I came up on y'all, man.
1005
01:05:00,361 --> 01:05:02,759
You did, man, but you look like you
in some serious shit, though, dog.
1006
01:05:02,761 --> 01:05:05,798
- Give it up. Jimmy, tell him.
- You're in serious shit, man.
1007
01:05:05,800 --> 01:05:08,070
How do you figure "serious"?
1008
01:05:08,072 --> 01:05:11,015
I've heard from some guys down, you
know, the US-born people, Keys people.
1009
01:05:11,017 --> 01:05:13,415
- Word's out down there.
- Word on the street's
1010
01:05:13,417 --> 01:05:16,295
that you did escape and then
the pigs is on your ass now.
1011
01:05:16,297 --> 01:05:17,286
Both are true.
1012
01:05:17,288 --> 01:05:18,982
Shit.
1013
01:05:18,984 --> 01:05:21,158
Yeah, that sounds pretty cool
the way you put it.
1014
01:05:21,160 --> 01:05:23,399
You sound like a wanted man,
the way I put it.
1015
01:05:23,401 --> 01:05:25,608
♪ Da-da-da Dog ♪
1016
01:05:26,728 --> 01:05:28,614
♪ Lost in the fog ♪
1017
01:05:28,616 --> 01:05:30,470
- Trying to find the dog.
- Yeah.
1018
01:05:30,472 --> 01:05:31,751
♪ Lost in the fog ♪
1019
01:05:31,753 --> 01:05:33,446
♪ Trying to find the dog ♪
1020
01:05:33,448 --> 01:05:35,783
♪ He's lost in the fog ♪
1021
01:05:35,785 --> 01:05:39,527
- Okay, here it is.
- ♪ Looking for the Moondog ♪
1022
01:05:39,529 --> 01:05:42,473
♪ He's lost in the moon fog ♪
1023
01:05:45,064 --> 01:05:47,816
♪ And I'm looking
For the Moondog ♪
1024
01:05:49,129 --> 01:05:51,878
He had it all, he had money,
1025
01:05:51,880 --> 01:05:55,430
cars, everything
you could possibly imagine.
1026
01:05:55,432 --> 01:06:00,743
Mmm-hmm. But this is the story
of the death of a dream.
1027
01:06:00,745 --> 01:06:02,438
Death of a dream.
1028
01:06:02,440 --> 01:06:05,222
The one who had
has not any more.
1029
01:06:05,224 --> 01:06:08,135
♪ Moondog ♪
1030
01:06:15,017 --> 01:06:17,895
♪ This is
The motherfucking Moondog ♪
1031
01:06:19,849 --> 01:06:21,673
♪ Howling at the moon
That's the dog, y'all ♪
1032
01:06:24,617 --> 01:06:28,551
Yes!
1033
01:06:28,553 --> 01:06:31,527
Got something I gotta
get off my chest with you, man.
1034
01:06:31,529 --> 01:06:34,057
Don't really know how to say
it. I'm just gonna come clean.
1035
01:06:34,537 --> 01:06:38,279
I was having an affair with Minnie,
man, several years behind your back.
1036
01:06:38,281 --> 01:06:44,550
I'm talking about really sexually
wild experiences with your wife, man.
1037
01:06:44,552 --> 01:06:49,256
- Yeah, I figured as much.
- I do know she didn't love me.
1038
01:06:50,248 --> 01:06:52,391
She loved my sex
but she didn't love me.
1039
01:06:52,393 --> 01:06:57,030
I was the RandB singer with the big
ding-a-ling. I was just a diversion.
1040
01:06:57,032 --> 01:06:59,015
Until you came back. You dig?
1041
01:06:59,017 --> 01:07:00,966
But she honestly loved you.
1042
01:07:00,968 --> 01:07:03,078
I know that for a fact.
1043
01:07:03,080 --> 01:07:04,967
- She did, didn't she?
- She loved the fuck out of you, Moondog.
1044
01:07:04,969 --> 01:07:07,336
I really loved her, man.
Still do.
1045
01:07:07,753 --> 01:07:10,502
- So sexual.
- Hypersexual.
1046
01:07:10,504 --> 01:07:12,774
Oh, man,
the moves that she doing.
1047
01:07:12,776 --> 01:07:14,663
She had these tiny hands.
1048
01:07:14,665 --> 01:07:17,670
And what I loved about her tiny
hands, it made my cock look so big.
1049
01:07:17,672 --> 01:07:19,527
You should've seen what mine
looked like in her hands.
1050
01:07:19,529 --> 01:07:23,334
The way she went down on me,
I could just see it right now.
1051
01:07:23,336 --> 01:07:25,095
- Yeah.
- And if you make eye contact.
1052
01:07:25,097 --> 01:07:27,496
Yeah, I hear you. That's enough.
1053
01:07:29,033 --> 01:07:30,345
I had a crazy-ass dream.
1054
01:07:31,145 --> 01:07:33,479
To help you get out of that
motherfucking thing that you're in.
1055
01:07:33,481 --> 01:07:36,422
I had a dream you was dressed
like a woman to help you escape.
1056
01:07:36,424 --> 01:07:39,654
- A woman?
- Yeah, I had the same dream.
1057
01:07:39,656 --> 01:07:42,022
I had this guy,
buddy in Vietnam,
1058
01:07:42,024 --> 01:07:44,550
dressed up like a geisha,
walked out of the war.
1059
01:07:46,120 --> 01:07:48,742
- Get in touch with your...
- His femininity.
1060
01:07:48,744 --> 01:07:50,055
Tap into it, man.
1061
01:07:50,057 --> 01:07:51,846
It may not be a bad look
after all.
1062
01:07:51,848 --> 01:07:54,023
You understand me. I can see you
with a dress on, and everything.
1063
01:07:54,025 --> 01:07:55,943
Moondog,
you might get used to it.
1064
01:07:55,945 --> 01:07:58,502
The dog wanna dress
in some high heels.
1065
01:07:58,504 --> 01:08:00,326
Let him strut the runway.
1066
01:08:00,328 --> 01:08:02,246
It's a ridiculous idea.
1067
01:08:02,248 --> 01:08:04,681
It's kinda fucking freaky
and genius, guys.
1068
01:08:05,288 --> 01:08:07,208
I think I already got
the underwear right.
1069
01:08:08,425 --> 01:08:10,728
And if I got my walk right.
1070
01:08:11,240 --> 01:08:13,033
This'll be too easy.
1071
01:08:13,672 --> 01:08:15,047
Oh, look it there.
1072
01:08:15,049 --> 01:08:18,023
Motherfucker giving
the whole moon there, Moondog.
1073
01:08:18,025 --> 01:08:19,943
You hear me?
1074
01:08:19,945 --> 01:08:21,575
You actually look good, dog.
1075
01:08:21,577 --> 01:08:23,718
I mean, it's kinda
fucking freaky, right?
1076
01:08:23,720 --> 01:08:26,118
I mean,
it's supposed to look freaky.
1077
01:08:26,120 --> 01:08:28,518
You a freaky little fish. That's what's
gonna throw the police off. You dig?
1078
01:08:31,657 --> 01:08:35,367
Moondog, ain't nobody gonna fucking
recognize you in that shit right there.
1079
01:08:35,369 --> 01:08:38,982
Especially the fucking pigs.
You fucking look amazing right now, dog.
1080
01:08:38,984 --> 01:08:41,094
Do you know what the challenge
of this situation is gonna be?
1081
01:08:41,096 --> 01:08:43,622
- Yes, ma'am.
- Dudes are gonna want my shit.
1082
01:08:49,256 --> 01:08:52,038
We slipping through the city
unseen.
1083
01:08:52,040 --> 01:08:54,407
What a disguise,
a perfect disguise, baby.
1084
01:08:54,409 --> 01:08:57,062
Your bitches
are gonna get hot on you,
1085
01:08:57,064 --> 01:08:59,975
seeing you riding around
with a hot blonde like me.
1086
01:08:59,977 --> 01:09:02,279
They gonna like the fact.
This is that interracial shit.
1087
01:09:02,281 --> 01:09:05,958
Like Jim Brown with Raquel Welch.
You know what I'm talkin' about?
1088
01:09:05,960 --> 01:09:08,009
I love it when a plan
comes together.
1089
01:09:09,865 --> 01:09:11,368
Anything for a friend.
1090
01:09:12,296 --> 01:09:13,832
Jim Dubie's bud.
1091
01:09:14,569 --> 01:09:17,030
Yes! Yes!
1092
01:09:17,032 --> 01:09:18,119
Look at that.
1093
01:09:18,121 --> 01:09:20,102
Heaven looks like that, Lounger.
1094
01:09:20,104 --> 01:09:22,886
Think of it like this, dog. I'm
gonna give you so much of this,
1095
01:09:22,888 --> 01:09:25,895
you gonna be able to write you a
couple of novels and that poetry shit.
1096
01:09:25,897 --> 01:09:28,007
Poetry...
1097
01:09:28,009 --> 01:09:29,895
Yeah, I'm talking about poems out
of your motherfucking asshole.
1098
01:09:29,897 --> 01:09:31,175
Yes, yes.
1099
01:09:31,177 --> 01:09:33,863
This is the safecracker
right here.
1100
01:09:33,865 --> 01:09:36,839
To crack the safe
to write that thing
1101
01:09:36,841 --> 01:09:39,335
and getting that money!
1102
01:09:39,337 --> 01:09:44,393
Because this is the key to unlocking all
of those juices in that head of yours.
1103
01:09:45,128 --> 01:09:46,153
Trust me.
1104
01:09:57,737 --> 01:09:58,889
- Cops are here.
- Say what?
1105
01:09:59,849 --> 01:10:01,160
The pigs is here right now?
1106
01:10:02,537 --> 01:10:06,150
Fuck! I must've been high as a
motherfucker when I hatched that plan.
1107
01:10:06,152 --> 01:10:08,070
Gas up the seaplane.
1108
01:10:08,072 --> 01:10:09,959
Go get my shit
out of the magical room.
1109
01:10:09,961 --> 01:10:11,846
Somebody scrape up Moondog.
1110
01:10:11,848 --> 01:10:14,310
It's time to go.
Let's load this shit up.
1111
01:10:14,312 --> 01:10:16,935
Let's get it rolling.
Stop dillydallying, the cops is coming.
1112
01:10:16,937 --> 01:10:19,974
Load up the motherfucking rasta van.
I'm bringing y'all for the music.
1113
01:10:19,976 --> 01:10:23,495
We on the run like we used to be back in
the day. Let's get the fuck out of here.
1114
01:10:23,497 --> 01:10:25,446
Hurry, man!
Hurry! Put it in now.
1115
01:10:25,448 --> 01:10:29,030
Lingerie, close the fucking door.
It's time to go.
1116
01:10:29,032 --> 01:10:31,175
You know I got
a motherfucking master plan.
1117
01:10:31,177 --> 01:10:33,992
My rastas are gonna fly you
to the Keys on my seaplane.
1118
01:10:34,472 --> 01:10:38,247
Time to get
me down to Key West, baby.
1119
01:10:38,249 --> 01:10:40,201
Cops ain't never gonna
catch the Moondog.
1120
01:10:40,840 --> 01:10:43,143
Moondog, hurry up.
Get this shit on the plane fast.
1121
01:10:43,145 --> 01:10:45,382
I hope
we got enough weed for this.
1122
01:10:45,384 --> 01:10:46,598
Let's go, man.
1123
01:10:46,600 --> 01:10:47,655
Yeah.
1124
01:10:47,657 --> 01:10:49,382
Shit.
1125
01:10:49,384 --> 01:10:50,855
This is gonna be fun.
1126
01:10:50,857 --> 01:10:52,232
Didn't know
it would be this easy.
1127
01:10:53,161 --> 01:10:55,880
Hey, is he a good pilot?
1128
01:10:56,521 --> 01:10:58,247
- Not at all.
- Not at all?
1129
01:10:58,249 --> 01:11:00,104
No, man. He got glaucoma
in both his eyes.
1130
01:11:00,744 --> 01:11:04,071
But when he's zooted off of that shit,
he gets you where you need to be.
1131
01:11:04,073 --> 01:11:06,855
Look, dog. You're gonna need
some cash for the splash.
1132
01:11:06,857 --> 01:11:08,742
That's gonna cush the landing.
1133
01:11:08,744 --> 01:11:11,399
- Yes, sir.
- Well, what can I say, Lounge?
1134
01:11:11,401 --> 01:11:14,216
We shall meet again on
some distant shore, my friend.
1135
01:11:15,817 --> 01:11:17,382
Yeah...
1136
01:11:17,384 --> 01:11:19,527
The sun, the rain
and the motherfucking moon.
1137
01:11:19,529 --> 01:11:21,959
- You make us proud down there, you hear me?
- Time for liftoff.
1138
01:11:21,961 --> 01:11:23,207
Lounge, time for liftoff.
1139
01:11:23,209 --> 01:11:24,966
Be good and be good at it, man.
1140
01:11:24,968 --> 01:11:28,679
When I smoking enough weed
and drink the shroom tea...
1141
01:11:28,681 --> 01:11:32,390
A few lines of
dainty white Bogotá coca.
1142
01:11:32,392 --> 01:11:34,278
- Yeah.
- Shit!
1143
01:11:34,280 --> 01:11:36,870
Man. Woof, woof, man.
1144
01:11:36,872 --> 01:11:39,527
I get insane vision.
1145
01:11:39,529 --> 01:11:42,375
And the vision guide,
like a spirit...
1146
01:11:42,377 --> 01:11:46,182
- in a direct line to our final destination.
- Yeah.
1147
01:11:46,184 --> 01:11:49,158
Safe and sound,
I don't fuck around.
1148
01:11:49,160 --> 01:11:53,993
You know, it doesn't matter what you said, it
just sounds so good when you fucking say it.
1149
01:11:55,432 --> 01:11:57,001
You know I'm 98 percent blind?
1150
01:11:57,800 --> 01:11:58,793
It's perfect.
1151
01:12:24,745 --> 01:12:29,126
- They don't even know, man.
- Moondog, what you got?
1152
01:12:29,128 --> 01:12:32,583
Flying through the
slipstream with a whole lot of green.
1153
01:12:34,888 --> 01:12:36,902
Moondog, I love you.
1154
01:12:36,904 --> 01:12:37,832
I love you too.
1155
01:12:38,953 --> 01:12:40,073
What's up, Moondog?
1156
01:12:42,953 --> 01:12:44,969
Get 'em, man!
1157
01:12:52,297 --> 01:12:54,918
Honey, I'm home.
1158
01:13:03,272 --> 01:13:05,670
My dream wife,
this is my Cuban maid.
1159
01:13:05,672 --> 01:13:09,735
- Oh, I see. Got to get me some of that.
- Let's get the party started.
1160
01:13:09,737 --> 01:13:11,816
- Your health.
- Salud.
1161
01:13:44,072 --> 01:13:45,064
Moondog!
1162
01:14:05,960 --> 01:14:08,391
Thank you
for meeting with me today.
1163
01:14:08,393 --> 01:14:11,078
My pleasure. I don't remember
the last time I did one of these.
1164
01:14:11,080 --> 01:14:12,742
What an interesting life.
1165
01:14:12,744 --> 01:14:14,759
How did you pull it off?
How did you do it?
1166
01:14:14,761 --> 01:14:16,806
How did I pull it off?
How did I do it?
1167
01:14:18,664 --> 01:14:19,974
I mean, look, I could tell you
1168
01:14:19,976 --> 01:14:22,439
that I've been trying to uncover
1169
01:14:22,441 --> 01:14:26,150
the abyss beneath my illusory
connection with the world.
1170
01:14:26,152 --> 01:14:28,518
I could tell you that
it's all written in the stars.
1171
01:14:28,520 --> 01:14:31,974
I could tell you
that I'm a reverse paranoiac.
1172
01:14:31,976 --> 01:14:35,207
I am quite certain that the world
is conspiring to make me happy.
1173
01:14:35,209 --> 01:14:38,984
All three of which are true but
it's really simpler than that.
1174
01:14:40,840 --> 01:14:42,152
I like to have fun, man.
1175
01:14:42,760 --> 01:14:44,777
Fun is the fucking gun, man.
1176
01:14:47,657 --> 01:14:52,199
That is why I like boats. I like water.
I like sunshine. I like beautiful women.
1177
01:14:52,201 --> 01:14:54,054
A lot.
1178
01:14:54,056 --> 01:14:56,327
I get all these things going, man,
and they are all turning me on.
1179
01:14:56,329 --> 01:14:58,151
And my wires are
connecting upstairs
1180
01:14:58,153 --> 01:15:00,038
and I start to hear music
in my head.
1181
01:15:00,040 --> 01:15:02,726
You know, and the world is
reverberating back and forth
1182
01:15:02,728 --> 01:15:05,063
and I hit the frequency
and I start to dance to it.
1183
01:15:05,065 --> 01:15:09,673
My fingers get moving, my head gets soupy,
I'm spinning all over the fucking place,
1184
01:15:10,760 --> 01:15:12,392
and the fucking words come out.
1185
01:15:13,352 --> 01:15:15,337
It is like it's a fucking gift.
1186
01:15:16,168 --> 01:15:19,400
What makes you, Moondog,
different than all these other people?
1187
01:15:22,856 --> 01:15:25,993
Seriously? You mean the ones
up north on the mainland,
1188
01:15:26,984 --> 01:15:30,887
the ones racing to the red line,
the ones stuck in their ways,
1189
01:15:30,889 --> 01:15:34,889
a little bit too busy to check
in and say, howdy-howdy-doo?
1190
01:15:35,497 --> 01:15:37,830
That shit's not for me, man.
1191
01:15:37,832 --> 01:15:41,030
I mean, fuck, man, so many people trip
themselves when they're running downhill.
1192
01:15:41,032 --> 01:15:43,302
Life's hard enough. Why would
you fucking want to do that?
1193
01:15:43,304 --> 01:15:45,095
I mean, it's like,
we're here to have a good time.
1194
01:15:45,097 --> 01:15:48,198
I just want to have a good time
until this shit's over, man.
1195
01:15:48,200 --> 01:15:52,134
This life gig's a fucking rodeo,
and I'm gonna suck the nectar out of it.
1196
01:15:52,136 --> 01:15:54,440
Fuck it raw dog
until the wheels come off.
1197
01:15:55,753 --> 01:15:56,999
Let me ask you something.
1198
01:15:57,001 --> 01:15:58,889
- Off the record.
- Come on. Come on.
1199
01:15:59,753 --> 01:16:02,184
What's up
with the women's clothes?
1200
01:16:02,857 --> 01:16:04,487
What women's clothes?
1201
01:16:04,489 --> 01:16:06,471
Motherfucker, my phone was dead.
1202
01:16:06,473 --> 01:16:08,487
I held a funeral
for that motherfucker.
1203
01:16:08,489 --> 01:16:11,782
I had people giving speeches
and remembrance
1204
01:16:11,784 --> 01:16:16,263
of the time when my phone was
alive but it is back to life.
1205
01:16:16,265 --> 01:16:21,798
It has resurrected
and the phone is ringing!
1206
01:16:21,800 --> 01:16:23,240
Off the hook!
1207
01:16:24,520 --> 01:16:27,208
They are calling you motherfucking
Van Gogh with words, baby.
1208
01:16:27,593 --> 01:16:29,351
They call on you Walt Disney.
1209
01:16:29,353 --> 01:16:31,110
They want to freeze your
motherfucking brain when you die.
1210
01:16:31,112 --> 01:16:34,088
This say your new book
is a masterpiece, Moondog.
1211
01:16:34,472 --> 01:16:38,886
But he was acting like
a little fuckboy for a minute.
1212
01:16:38,888 --> 01:16:43,974
And I had to admit, true genius
takes true guidance.
1213
01:16:43,976 --> 01:16:45,577
It takes true pushing.
1214
01:16:46,057 --> 01:16:47,912
Let me tell you something.
1215
01:16:48,776 --> 01:16:52,360
Please tell me something,
tell me something.
1216
01:16:53,992 --> 01:16:56,168
You up
for a motherfucking Pulitzer.
1217
01:16:56,840 --> 01:16:59,142
- My book's up for a Pulitzer?
- Pulitzer.
1218
01:17:01,640 --> 01:17:03,913
Minnie-Boo, do you hear this?
1219
01:17:05,129 --> 01:17:06,695
Thank you.
1220
01:17:06,697 --> 01:17:09,767
And now the prize
for outstanding poetry.
1221
01:17:09,769 --> 01:17:13,638
It is a great honor
that I introduce to you,
1222
01:17:13,640 --> 01:17:16,040
Mr. Moondog.
1223
01:17:25,385 --> 01:17:26,761
Thank you.
1224
01:17:44,872 --> 01:17:46,217
I've had a lot in my life.
1225
01:17:47,720 --> 01:17:50,216
But I always had this feeling
like when I left...
1226
01:17:52,808 --> 01:17:54,632
no one gonna remember me.
1227
01:17:57,673 --> 01:18:01,609
But knowing you,
being a part of what you did...
1228
01:18:04,360 --> 01:18:06,024
maybe that means something,
you know?
1229
01:18:10,441 --> 01:18:11,912
I want to thank you.
1230
01:18:27,689 --> 01:18:30,152
You know what I like
the most about being rich?
1231
01:18:31,561 --> 01:18:37,991
You can just be horrible to people
and they just have to take it.
1232
01:18:44,456 --> 01:18:45,737
This next poem...
1233
01:18:46,568 --> 01:18:49,673
is one I wrote at 3:00 a.m.
1234
01:18:51,464 --> 01:18:55,912
coming down off of a two-day
acid trip in the Virgin Islands.
1235
01:18:58,024 --> 01:18:59,688
It's called
"The Beautiful Point."
1236
01:19:03,721 --> 01:19:05,448
"I go to bed in Havana...
1237
01:19:06,632 --> 01:19:07,913
thinking about you...
1238
01:19:10,664 --> 01:19:12,809
pissing a few moments ago...
1239
01:19:14,729 --> 01:19:18,920
I looked down
at my penis with affection...
1240
01:19:21,832 --> 01:19:23,881
knowing it has been inside you,
1241
01:19:24,361 --> 01:19:25,832
twice today...
1242
01:19:29,257 --> 01:19:30,793
makes me feel beautiful.
1243
01:20:01,705 --> 01:20:04,295
I have to admit, I didn't
think you could do it, Dad.
1244
01:20:04,297 --> 01:20:05,513
No?
1245
01:20:06,280 --> 01:20:08,391
But you managed
to pull it off somehow.
1246
01:20:08,393 --> 01:20:12,744
Sweetie, I'm telling you,
don't ever bet against the Moondog.
1247
01:20:16,552 --> 01:20:19,494
I'm just so happy
you finally dumped limp dick.
1248
01:20:19,496 --> 01:20:20,742
I know. He sucked.
1249
01:20:20,744 --> 01:20:21,737
- Really?
- Yeah.
1250
01:20:34,760 --> 01:20:36,296
You unlocked the fortune.
1251
01:20:36,937 --> 01:20:38,375
The money is yours.
1252
01:20:38,377 --> 01:20:40,902
Your complete inheritance
is all yours.
1253
01:20:40,904 --> 01:20:43,110
- Congratulations.
- Exactly. Perfect.
1254
01:20:43,112 --> 01:20:45,638
Listen.
I want it all in cash, man.
1255
01:20:45,640 --> 01:20:47,814
- What was that?
- Cash, man.
1256
01:20:47,816 --> 01:20:50,438
C-A-S-H, cash, all greenbacks.
1257
01:20:50,440 --> 01:20:52,998
I don't want you to put a penny
of that stuff in the bank.
1258
01:20:53,000 --> 01:20:55,878
You know, I don't trust
those Illuminati motherfuckers.
1259
01:20:55,880 --> 01:20:59,111
Here's what you're gonna do.
I want you to buy me a sailboat.
1260
01:20:59,113 --> 01:21:01,191
All right,
like a 150-200-footer,
1261
01:21:01,193 --> 01:21:03,782
something really nice,
preferably vintage.
1262
01:21:03,784 --> 01:21:06,758
Then I want you to name that boat Success
after my old friend, Captain Whack.
1263
01:21:06,760 --> 01:21:11,302
Then you're gonna put the rest of
the cash stacked in that sailboat.
1264
01:21:11,304 --> 01:21:13,542
And I want you
to sail down here to me.
1265
01:21:13,544 --> 01:21:16,998
That's over
$50 million in cash, Moondog.
1266
01:21:17,000 --> 01:21:18,505
All right, don't fuck it up.
1267
01:21:22,153 --> 01:21:25,223
Next, she's gonna want to marry
me now that I'm rich. Right?
1268
01:21:25,225 --> 01:21:28,167
Huh? That's right.
What do you think about that, huh?
1269
01:21:28,169 --> 01:21:29,798
Cash in a boat.
1270
01:21:29,800 --> 01:21:31,462
You can do whatever we want
or nothing at all.
1271
01:21:33,640 --> 01:21:35,015
Yeah, man.
1272
01:21:35,017 --> 01:21:37,415
- There she is.
- Yeah, it's beautiful.
1273
01:21:37,417 --> 01:21:40,775
- Awesome, man, awesome.
- Got great shapes and her cargo,
1274
01:21:40,777 --> 01:21:43,431
there's $46 million on board.
1275
01:21:43,433 --> 01:21:46,792
You're gonna buy yourself so much weed.
1276
01:21:48,329 --> 01:21:49,960
What do you think about that?
1277
01:21:52,552 --> 01:21:53,991
You know what I want to do?
1278
01:21:53,993 --> 01:21:56,135
I wanna have a big
fucking fireworks show, man.
1279
01:21:56,137 --> 01:21:58,631
Invite all my friends
from the Keys.
1280
01:21:58,633 --> 01:22:02,631
None of that sparkler bullshit that impresses
lesbians, pregnant women and babies.
1281
01:22:02,633 --> 01:22:06,311
No, no. Let's Valhalla this
motherfucker, you know what I mean?
1282
01:22:06,313 --> 01:22:07,623
Raise the dead.
1283
01:22:07,625 --> 01:22:10,470
Make it awesome for Minnie.
1284
01:22:10,472 --> 01:22:13,766
Work it, Moondog. Money!
1285
01:22:13,768 --> 01:22:15,656
Money! Money!
1286
01:22:28,553 --> 01:22:31,238
All right, federales,
this is where you get off.
1287
01:22:31,240 --> 01:22:32,904
One for you.
1288
01:22:33,481 --> 01:22:35,209
Thank you.
1289
01:23:04,297 --> 01:23:05,991
♪ I don't have to fear it ♪
1290
01:23:05,993 --> 01:23:08,871
♪ And I wanna rock ♪
1291
01:23:08,873 --> 01:23:12,680
♪ Your gypsy soul ♪
1292
01:23:13,736 --> 01:23:16,520
♪ Just like way back
In the days of old ♪
1293
01:23:19,144 --> 01:23:21,926
♪ Then magnificently
We will float ♪
1294
01:23:21,928 --> 01:23:24,102
♪ Into the mystic ♪
1295
01:23:26,089 --> 01:23:27,080
Whoo!
1296
01:23:40,168 --> 01:23:42,375
♪ I gotta hear it ♪
1297
01:23:42,377 --> 01:23:44,102
♪ I don't have to fear it ♪
1298
01:23:44,104 --> 01:23:49,256
♪ And I wanna rock
Your gypsy soul ♪
1299
01:23:50,824 --> 01:23:54,089
♪ Just like way back
In the days of old ♪
1300
01:23:55,561 --> 01:23:59,366
♪ And together we will float ♪
1301
01:23:59,368 --> 01:24:00,839
That's great poetry.
1302
01:24:10,441 --> 01:24:14,055
Holy shit-fire.
1303
01:24:16,105 --> 01:24:17,929
This is so much fun.
1304
01:24:27,144 --> 01:24:30,920
Oh, shit!
That was a close one, wasn't it?
1305
01:24:31,369 --> 01:24:32,425
Ah!
1306
01:24:33,512 --> 01:24:35,750
Yeah, yeah, yo.
1307
01:24:56,233 --> 01:25:00,680
♪ Will they stop now? ♪
1308
01:25:07,720 --> 01:25:09,032
A fucking blast.
1309
01:25:29,576 --> 01:25:31,624
♪ Looking for the Moondog ♪
1310
01:25:34,057 --> 01:25:36,809
♪ Is she fishing
In the moon fog ♪
1311
01:25:39,272 --> 01:25:41,960
♪ I'm running days
Like a wild hog ♪
1312
01:25:44,393 --> 01:25:47,240
♪ Never want them back again
Because ♪
1313
01:25:50,312 --> 01:25:52,935
♪ We've seen this act before ♪
1314
01:25:52,937 --> 01:25:55,686
♪ Heard this monologue ♪
1315
01:25:55,688 --> 01:26:00,711
♪ He's a wanted man with
His head stuck in the sand ♪
1316
01:26:00,713 --> 01:26:03,142
♪ Down and disavowed ♪
1317
01:26:03,144 --> 01:26:05,574
♪ Bein' way too fucking loud ♪
1318
01:26:05,576 --> 01:26:09,449
♪ We gotta get a leash
On that dog ♪
1319
01:26:10,537 --> 01:26:13,000
♪ Woof! On that dog ♪
1320
01:26:17,608 --> 01:26:20,009
♪ He's always dancing
In the moonbeams ♪
1321
01:26:22,856 --> 01:26:25,256
♪ Never cozy in the mainstream ♪
1322
01:26:28,136 --> 01:26:30,505
♪ Always looking
At the moonlight ♪
1323
01:26:33,160 --> 01:26:35,816
♪ Never really got
His mind right ♪
1324
01:26:39,080 --> 01:26:44,007
♪ Melted like a fudgesicle
Left out in the sun ♪
1325
01:26:44,009 --> 01:26:49,446
♪ Time is running out
He's a man on the run ♪
1326
01:26:49,448 --> 01:26:54,438
♪ Death of a dream
We've got to plot a scheme ♪
1327
01:26:54,440 --> 01:26:59,750
♪ Got to get his ass
Out of town ♪
1328
01:26:59,752 --> 01:27:02,247
♪ Hiding in the mangroves ♪
1329
01:27:02,249 --> 01:27:04,838
♪ Till the coast is clear ♪
1330
01:27:04,840 --> 01:27:09,638
♪ Take him up to Disney World
Get him out of here ♪
1331
01:27:09,640 --> 01:27:12,455
♪ Looks like
He's having flashbacks ♪
1332
01:27:12,457 --> 01:27:14,790
♪ Speaking Lebanese ♪
1333
01:27:14,792 --> 01:27:17,511
♪ Put him in a Greyhound ♪
1334
01:27:17,513 --> 01:27:23,017
♪ Heading for the Keys ♪
1335
01:27:25,640 --> 01:27:27,848
♪ They ain't never find
The Moondog ♪
1336
01:27:30,760 --> 01:27:33,577
♪ Keep him hidden
In the moon fog ♪
1337
01:27:35,753 --> 01:27:38,473
♪ A little ganja
And some good draw ♪
1338
01:27:41,064 --> 01:27:43,529
♪ Keep 'em kenneled
To the Moondog ♪
1339
01:27:46,088 --> 01:27:48,937
♪ I was working
On a moon speech ♪
1340
01:27:51,176 --> 01:27:53,737
♪ Not exactly lookin'
Downstream ♪
1341
01:27:56,456 --> 01:27:58,825
♪ Watch him hopping
Like a tree frog ♪
1342
01:28:01,417 --> 01:28:03,687
♪ Hope he makes it
To his epilogue ♪
1343
01:28:03,689 --> 01:28:05,094
♪ Epilogue ♪
1344
01:28:05,096 --> 01:28:06,278
♪ Here we go ♪
1345
01:28:06,280 --> 01:28:07,398
♪ Monologue ♪
1346
01:28:07,400 --> 01:28:10,086
♪ A hoppin' frog ♪
1347
01:28:10,088 --> 01:28:15,080
♪ Moondog ♪